


What Does It Mean To You?

by Meganna2525



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Drinking, Minor Character Death, Other, Soulmate AU, Swearing, don't know what else to tag, if there's anything i need to tag let me know, minecraft au, references to blood magic, tagging people is weird though..., these are their minecraft personas, this is not about the actual people irl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-10-18 05:37:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17574896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meganna2525/pseuds/Meganna2525
Summary: Nano's quest to find out more about the relationships of those around her in an attempt to better understand herself.





	1. Don't Expect An Easy Answer

**Author's Note:**

> First things first: yes, this story does contain Sjin and Ridgedog. This was initially written before I found out about the allegations against them and I have since left the fandom and am overall unaware of anything further that has happened with them or anyone else. If you feel uncomfortable reading something with them (or any of the other characters) in, please feel free to leave. I completely understand.
> 
> Secondly, as mentioned, I did leave the fandom quite some time ago, so the characterisations aren't going to be accurate. This is more based upon the characters I came up with for the initial story than the people or characters themselves. It may also not match up with an actual timeline. Honestly, I don't care. I liked the original version of this story I wrote, and that's why I'm rewriting it, inconsistencies be damned.
> 
> This was originally intended to be part of a larger series of stories, and as such there may be bits here and there that don't quite make sense without context. I might do an additional chapter explaining it all, since I'm not going to be returning to write anything more on it.
> 
> And I hope it goes without saying, but please don't be rude because of anything I've said here. I will be moderating the comments and I will delete any that try and stir up trouble. You have been warned.
> 
> Now that all that's out of the way - I hope you enjoy the story!

“When I leave, I’m going to live with Lomadia.”

Even without looking, Nano could feel Lalna blink in surprise. “Eh?”

She rolled her eyes and repeated, “When I leave-”

“Yeah, no, I know what you said, but- eh?”

“Well, I can’t stay here forever, can I?” She turned to face him as he kept his own eyes focused on whatever it was he was fiddling with. Despite this she lifted up her hands to gesture broadly as she elaborated, “I want to go off and see the world! Have adventures! Fall in love!” She let her tone turn truly wistful as she said, “Maybe I’ll even meet my soulmate…”

Shaking herself, she continued, “Either way, I can’t go traipsing off into the Wilderness unprepared and you, despite being my _teacher_ ,” she mock-glared at him and noticed his mouth twitch, “have taught me bugger all about… well, much of anything, to be honest. So.” She waved her hand and rounded off the conversation with, “I’ll go apprentice with Lomadia. She’ll be a far better teacher than you, _that’s_ for sure.”

There were a few moments of silence before Lalna stood straighter, still turned away from her. “You’ve put a lot of thought into this, huh?” She nodded and he mimicked the gesture before asking, “So, when are you leaving?”

“Wow, that eager to get rid of me?” She giggled and waved off his protestations. “Kidding, kidding! I’m leaving, as I’ve told you many, _many_ times before, as soon as you get rid of this Godforsaken flux like you keep promising to.” Sighing, she folded her arms and said, “At least Lomadia listens to me!”

He hummed absently and she turned back to her work, assuming the conversation over. She was proven wrong when he asked, “Why Lom?”

“Huh?” She glanced back at him. “Why not? She’s awesome - like, seriously badass - she’s great to talk to, _and_ she doesn’t kill her pets.” She started giggling again as excuses tumbled out of Lalna. “I know, I know, it ‘wasn’t your fault’.” Leaning against her work, she took a moment to think before saying, “But yeah, we just get along. We seem to click.” She turned her gaze on Lalna again. “Maybe she’s my soulmate.”

“Nah,” he said. “She’s got Nilesy, hasn’t she?”

“Well, she’s got to be pretty damn similar to my soulmate!” she said with a pout. “I mean, whoever they are, they’re going to have to be pretty bloody awesome. And smart. And powerful. And we could go on all sorts of adventures together, just us against the world!” She couldn’t keep the smile off her face at the thought of it. “And, obviously, they’re going to adore me.”

“Obviously,” Lalna parroted, chuckling. When she turned to glare at him she found him just staring off into space, lost in thought. She walked over and poked him.

“What’s with that look?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing. I was just thinking.”

“Wow, be careful not to strain yourself!”

“Oh, har-de-har,” he said with a smile. “But I was just thinking; if you want to know who your soulmate is, why don’t you just ask Kirin?”

She stared blankly at him. “Huh?”

He turned towards her, gaze skittering away to some point over her shoulder, and said, “Reapers can look into people’s souls, which means they can tell who someone’s soulmate is. They might be able to tell you the person’s name or what they look like or… I dunno.” He shrugged. “But it could help you find them.”

She stared at him for a few more seconds, digesting the words, before punching him in the arm. “Why didn’t you say so sooner?”

As he started making excuses she tuned him out and turned away, sending a message to Kirin. A moment later she’d been teleported out of PandaLabs.

The room she found herself in was dark, lit only by a handful of candles tucked away in little nooks and crannies about the room. The ceiling was high and the door and windows shut tight. There was no furniture but there were cushions scattered about the floor. She could smell incense.

Kirin rose from one of the cushions to greet her, though she wished they’d stayed sitting as she had to crane her neck to make out the gentle smile on their face. Only two of their many eyes came to rest on her, the rest darting about with a dizzying speed.

“Good morning, young Nano,” they said. “It is lovely to see you. Do you want me to put the kettle on? I’ve got some new types of tea you might be interested in trying.”

“Maybe later.”

“Ah, I suspected this might not be a social visit.” They sighed. “One can but hope. But what is the matter, my dear?”

“Lalna said you could show me my soulmate?” Her voice lifted at the end, turning the sentence into a question. Their smile dropped instantly, a cloud descending over their features.

“I can indeed. But are you sure you want me to?” She frowned, but before she could say anything they continued, “Nano. I would have to enter your soul. The very essence of what makes you, you. It is highly personal and I would want your trust and consent before I did anything. Please take some more time to think it over.”

Shutting her mouth again, Nano let her gaze drop to the floor. Their words had struck a chord within her and she wanted to leave, to not let anyone inside her heart or soul or whatever it was they’d be doing. But still, despite all that, there was a burning curiosity. An almost painful need to know.

Once again she met Kirin’s gaze, her own holding firm, and gave a decisive nod. Some of the tension left their shoulders and a smile reappeared on their face, though it was more strained than their usual one.

“Then would you like to take a seat?” they asked, gesturing to the cushions. She sat down on one of them, cross-legged, and Kirin mirrored her.

Once they were both settled Kirin held their hands out, palms up. She didn’t hesitate as she rested her own atop and her hands were quickly engulfed by Kirin’s. Their eyes closed one by one as their breath slid out of them. The air crackled with power. She blinked, and when her eyes opened again she saw Kirin glowing a pale blue. The glow crept out from under their lids, shone from their horns, danced in their lightning scars. The candles pulsed along with this light, dimming and brightening over and over again. Kirin was eerily still.

Nano felt compelled to let her own lids drop. The air fell from her lips and, even when there was nothing left within her, she felt no need to draw another breath. She could feel her heart thrumming throughout her body, slowing down until there was an eternity between each beat. Her mind was flooded with the colour red.

When she opened her eyes, she was nowhere.

There was a tugging in her chest, pulling her onwards. When she followed it she found a huge fire roaring, fierce red with a heart of gold. In the centre burned a flower. It was surrounded by twisting vines with sharp thorns. Each thorn dripped purple. She felt her heart thud and saw the flames dance with it.

“Hm. That’s strange,” said a voice she almost recognised. “You shouldn’t have been able to follow me here.” She turned towards it, struggling to respond. “No no, don’t exert yourself. It takes a long time to learn how to communicate in this state.”

It was silent for a moment. When it spoke again it sounded thoughtful. “I think,” it said, “since you’re here anyway, you should see this. It’s what you came to me for, after all. If you follow that string of light, you should find it.”

Turning back to the fire she saw a bright, shining thread leading away from it. She moved quickly, soon spotting a sphere hovering at the other end of it that she felt strangely drawn to. It glowed a pale blue colour, the kind of blue that could almost be called green. As she drew closer, she could see a silhouette moving within.

She stopped. Though she couldn’t see anyone nearby, she could feel a presence. It was right behind her and gave off a comforting aura, soothing the nerves she hadn’t even noticed building.

“Have a look, Nano,” it said.

She did so, moving forwards yet again. Now she could make out more details, little flashes of other colours, the edge of a grin. Closer and closer she came, trying to see more of the figure. Trying to find out who it was. She saw burning white and deep purple and bright yellow, but ever present was that one pale blue. Then the pieces aligned, a spark of recognition flooded through her, a name on the tip of her tongue that she could almost taste-

Nano choked on the air rushing into her lungs. Instantly she pulled back, curling in on herself as she tried to recover, mind racing. She barely noticed Kirin standing and moving about the room, still stuck on what had just happened. On the person she had seen. She shuddered and raised her head to find that the windows had been opened and Kirin was nowhere to be seen. Her necklace was in her hand, fingers wrapped tightly around it. Before she could do anything, they reentered.

“Tea is ready,” they said, smiling at her. “If you don’t yet feel up to moving I could bring it in here, but there are chairs in the other room that I promise are more comfortable than the floor.”

Nano’s words stuck in her throat and made her cough again, so she instead gave a sharp nod and tried to stand, almost falling flat on her face. Kirin moved quickly to catch her and kept a grip on her as they walked out of the room and down the corridor. Nano kept her arms wrapped tightly around herself, cheeks burning.

They soon reached the kitchen. Kirin placed her in a chair before moving away to fetch tea and a plate piled high with food, both of which they placed before Nano. She grabbed the plate and started devouring the food on it, much to Kirin’s apparent amusement as she heard them give a fond chuckle. She ducked her head, doing her best to hide her blush, and tried to slow down, but her hunger was difficult to ignore.

Before long, the plate was clear. She placed it to one side and forced herself to give Kirin a small smile and say, “Thank you for the food.”

“No problem, my dear,” they said before sipping their tea. She noticed that all but two of their eyes were closed. Those two eyes met hers as Kirin asked, “Do you feel up to talking?”

She picked up her own tea and took a sip to stall. Though her hunger had been sated she still felt completely drained of energy. Her head stuffed full of cotton; her soul left an open wound, exposed. The face she’d seen lingered at the forefront of her mind, though she tried to force her thoughts away. When she lowered the cup, she noticed her hands shaking.

Turning to look at Kirin again she found them watching her with a slight frown. Her stomach churned. “I, uh, don’t think so?” she said as an answer.

They nodded, staring down at their drink again. “That’s fine. If you want, I could fill you in on what exactly happened in there? I don’t know how aware you were during everything.”

“That sounds good.”

“Very well.” They relaxed in their chair and lapsed into silence for a few moments, eventually saying, “To start, I entered your soul. There was nothing immediately abnormal about the experience from my perspective, but I soon realised that you had somehow found a way to follow me there. It’s actually quite impressive. Learning how to enter your own soul is a standard part of Reaper training, one that takes a long time to figure out. I haven’t heard of anyone who has managed it on their first attempt, let alone by accident.” A thoughtful look crossed their face, gaze flickering to her, but it quickly disappeared and they continued.

“As I said, you followed me and found your soul. Or, to be more specific, one manifestation of it, as the soul can take many different forms. In this particular one you were represented by the burning flower, red being the colour of your soul and the gold centre indicating that you are a child.”

“I’m a what?”

“You were only brought into existence a year ago, young one. Granted, your situation is rather unique, but… well, I don’t make the rules. This is a manifestation of _your_ soul, after all.” Their gaze drifted to a corner of the room as they thought it over, speaking in a subdued tone, “Honestly, I don’t know who _does_ make the rules. This might reflect how you, on some level, see yourself, or it might be from a… a higher power, of sorts. Whatever assigns the soulmates in the first place, quite probably.” They paused for a moment. “There really isn’t that much known about souls and soulmates, all things considered.” Shaking themself, they sat up straighter and said, “Regardless. The vines represent the flux, which is… rather concerning.”

“You’re telling me,” she muttered, ducking her head so that Kirin wouldn’t see her frown.

They were silent for a few seconds before continuing, “And the light from your soul represented your connection to your soulmate which seems to be strong, all things considered. The sphere at the end was a representation of your soulmate’s soul. You looked into it, discovered who your soulmate was, and it… startled you out of the trance. I’m sure you can remember the rest.”

She nodded and looked back over to see Kirin sipping their tea again. She did the same and, for a few moments, there was a comfortable silence.

“Now then,” Kirin said, breaking the silence, “how are you feeling?”

“Like crap.”

They snorted, causing a smile to tug at her lips, and said, “Well, you seem to be doing better!”

She took another sip of tea, smile falling when she noticed that her hands were still trembling. She heard Kirin sigh.

“And now you know who your soulmate is,” they said, a more serious tone to their voice now. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She shrugged and sank down in her seat. “What’s there to talk about? I wanted to know who my soulmate was, now I do. Job done.”

“And yet, you seem upset.”

“I’m not _upset_ , I just- well, maybe it’s not what I-” she cut herself off with a huff. “Nevermind.”

To her surprise, Kirin sounded amused when they said, “Ah, I think I see what the problem is.”

“Shut up,” she said before they could continue. “I _know_ it’s stupid but I just thought that- that it would be different. That there’d be fireworks and music and the whole world would stop around us. Two hearts beating as one.” A scowl crossed her face and she sank down further. “Like I said. Stupid.”

“There’s nothing stupid about having a romanticised view of soulmates,” Kirin said, tone gentle once more. “Most of the world does. But, unfortunately, real relationships don’t work like that, and partnerships are no exception.” They placed their cup down, turning to face her fully. “Just look at all the different relationships around you, all the people who live in this domain. Do you think any of them see fireworks when they look at their soulmate?” They paused. “Well, maybe Zoeya does.” She found herself smiling at that, which Kirin mirrored as they continued, “All relationships are unique. They have their own problems to work through and their own benefits. I think this is something you need to figure out on your own. Or rather,” they caught and held her gaze, “ _with your soulmate_.”

She pulled away, turning her gaze on her cup. After a moment Kirin said, “There’s nothing more I can tell you. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think I’m qualified to even say this much.” Their tone changed to something on the edge of sad as they said, “As a Reaper, I don’t have a soulmate.”

Nano nodded, only half-listening. She was more caught up in everything else that had been said. With a sigh she raised her head again, meeting Kirin’s gaze. “Thanks. This has… well, it’s given me a lot to think about.”

Their smile returned. “I’m very glad to hear it, young one.”

She drank the last of her tea before saying in a lighter tone, “Y’know, you could be a teacher or something. You’ve really got the whole,” she put on a deliberately bad impression of Kirin’s deep, serious tone, “‘let me explain to you life, the universe, and everything’ manner down pat.” They laughed and she let a smile spread across her face. “Seriously. You ever thought about taking on an apprentice?”

“Maybe someday,” they said. “But for now, I think you should be heading home.”

“Fine,” she said, pouting. “If you insist.”

Despite her words, when Kirin stood and offered her a hug she instantly accepted. Her feet left the ground and she was surrounded by warmth and the faint smell of thunderstorms. Her frown vanished as she was placed back down.

“It was nice to see you,” she said. “Thanks again for the food. And… the rest of it, too.”

“It was lovely seeing you too, my dear. Take care.”

And then she was in the basement of PandaLabs once again. Lalna was still sat before a computer, but he glanced up long enough to shoot a grin over his shoulder.

“Hey Nano! How’d it go?”

“It was fine. I found out who my soulmate was.” He hummed and didn’t ask anything further. She leaned against the wall to watch him work, her hand drifting to her necklace. “Lalna?”

Lalna stood and turned to face her, dusting himself off as he said, “Yeah? What’s up?”

“Do you know… who your soulmate is?” He froze. “And what would you want out of that kind of relationship?”

For several long moments he said nothing before finally letting out a nervous laugh, one hand moving to fiddle with his goggles.

“Wow.” He laughed again. “Those are, uh… very interesting questions. Can I ask why you want to know?” She said nothing. His gaze dropped to the floor. “Well, you know, most people go their entire lives without meeting their soulmate. It’s a very rare phenomenon. _Extremely_ rare. Except ‘round here, for some reason, ‘cause everyone seems to have found their special someone…” His voice trailed off. “But, uh, there wasn’t- Well, that is to say, I couldn’t-”

He cut himself off, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. “I would want… someone I got along with. Someone to spend time with,” he said. A frown crossed his face. “I hate being alone.”

“That’s it?”

He flinched and turned the motion into a shrug, tone lighter as he said, “What can I say? I’ve got very low standards.”

“Well, that’s useless.”

His eyes darted up to meet hers for the briefest of moments. “You didn’t say why you wanted to know. Is it… to do with your soulmate?”

“Well yeah, obviously.” She forced herself to let go of the necklace and instead crossed her arms as she said, “Like I said, I know who my soulmate is. I just want to know what to expect.” He didn’t respond. She turned away. “I think I’ll go ask Lomadia. _She’s_ actually got a soulmate, so she’ll have a better answer.”

Before Lalna could say anything she left, all but running out the door and flying out towards the horizon, her stomach twisted up in knots. Behind her, Lalna lingered on the edge of the cliff until she was out of sight, then, with a sigh, he went back inside to continue working.


	2. The Dirt In Which Our Roots May Grow

Nano landed in the garden outside Lomadia and Nilesy’s little cottage and paused for a moment, taking deep breaths. Only once she felt less on the verge of breaking apart did she have a look around. There didn’t seem to be anyone inside the building but as she rounded it she found Nilesy and a number of cats all lying on the ground, enjoying the sun.

“Hey!” she called out, drawing closer to him. A few cats were spooked by her appearance and ran off, while Nilesy himself simply craned his neck to meet her gaze, one hand lifting in a lazy wave. “Do you know where Lomadia is?”

“Heyo, Nano. She went out a while ago to go get some something or other for Witchery, should be back soon.”

“Oh.” She glanced at the house then back to Nilesy. “Do you mind if I wait for her?”

“Just don’t annoy the cats.”

Nodding, she settled herself on the ground nearby. A cat quickly made itself at home in her lap. She started petting it, relaxing further as it purred. Between the warm sun and the peaceful garden she was nice and comfortable, and as the minutes ticked by she found herself in danger of dozing off.

“So, why’d you want to see Lom anyway?”

She jumped, causing Nilesy to give her a sharp grin before his eyes slid shut again. “I just wanted to ask her a question,” she said, resuming her petting motions. Her free hand found its way to her necklace. “Actually, do you mind if I ask you?”

“Shoot.”

“Lomadia’s your soulmate, yeah?” He nodded. “Why? What exactly makes her your soulmate?”

“My cats like her.”

She stared at him in silence, waiting. After a few moments he cracked an eye open to grin at her.

“Enjoying the view?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Nano shook her head, tongue sticking out in mock-disgust as she said, “Ew, no. Gross.” He laughed. “I was just wondering about the rest of it.”

“What rest of it?”

“Well, that can’t be _it_! There’s got to be more to soulmates than just someone your pets like.”

Nilesy sat up, staring straight at her with a suddenly serious expression, and said, “Look, Nano. Cats are very finicky beasts. The chances of all this lot,” he gestured to all the cats around them, “liking not only me, but Lom too, are very low. Like, exceedingly low. I’m not going to say how low because I’m shit at maths. But those odds mean that it’s a very good test, no matter what you say,” he said, pointing at her with vehemence before flopping back on the grass. Once he’d resumed his relaxed position he continued in a calmer tone, “Besides, I don’t want to spend my life with someone my cats hate. So yeah, that’s _it_. Everything else is a bonus.”

Nano shifted, mulling over his words. As her motions stilled the cat jumped off her lap, sauntering over to curl up on Nilesy’s chest instead. The rest of the wait passed in silence.

A while later a shadow passed over the two of them. Nano turned her head to follow it, shielding her eyes against the sun, and saw Lomadia landing her broomstick and dismounting. Nilesy was motionless beside her. Assuming he was asleep, she got to her feet and ran over, waiting until she was closer before saying anything.

“Hey!” she said as she came to a halt beside Lomadia.

She looked up, a bright smile appearing on her face, and said, “Hello Nano! You look well. Do you want to come in?”

“Yes, that sounds good.”

“Great. I’ll pop the kettle on,” Lomadia said, turning towards the cottage.

As Nano followed she heard Nilesy yell from where he lay, “I’m fine without tea, thanks for asking!” The corner of Lomadia’s mouth twitched up.

Once they entered the cottage Lomadia busied herself with the kettle. Nano took a seat, admiring the owls and cats all sat around the room, and soon Lomadia placed a cup before her.

“So, how are you?” she asked, taking her own seat.

“I’m good!” Nano said, curling her hands around the mug. “And so’s Lalna. He’s busy at home, couldn’t make it. But he’s good!”

In response Lomadia nodded, a slight smile on her face. “So what’s the question?”

Nano ducked her head. Lomadia always knew when something was on her mind, and was just so sensible about everything that Nano usually felt silly for being worried in the first place. The thought briefly crossed her mind of simply changing the subject, but she pushed that aside and lifted her chin to say, “I wanted to ask you about soulmates. I asked Lalna and Nilesy and neither of them gave me good answers on what it’s all about. And I know,” she continued, lifting her hand to cut off whatever Lomadia was about to say, “that it’s ‘something I need to figure out on my own’. I just… can you tell me what it’s like for you?”

“Fine, I’ll leave the lecturing for now,” Lomadia said before pausing, her smile replaced by a thoughtful look.

“For me, with Nilesy, it was comfort,” she said after a moment. “He became a part of my life before I even realised what was happening, but soon there came a point where I put two plates on the table at mealtimes, where I pulled his favourite mug out alongside my own and made him a cup of tea exactly how he liked it just in time for him to get up in the morning, where I knew the names of all our cats and he knew the owls in turn. And that’s just the way life is now. Not just mine, but ours.” She sipped her tea and looked back to Nano. “Does that answer your question?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think it does. Thanks.”

“Why did you want to know?”

Nano shifted in her seat, her hand brushing against her necklace. “It’s complicated.”

A knowing smile appeared on Lomadia’s face, which Nano ignored in favour of drinking her tea. When she finished it Lomadia stood to get them some more and she took the opportunity to cast about for a change in topic. Her eyes landed on some brightly coloured chalk and she asked about the Witchery Lomadia had been doing recently. To her relief, Lomadia let the topic shift and answered her questions.

They continued talking about a spell Lomadia had tried recently until the door banged open a few minutes later. Nano jumped but Lomadia just calmly sipped her tea and reminded Nilesy to close the door behind him, which he did before looking through the chests. Lomadia stood to get a third cup and put the kettle back on, offering Nano another cup of tea too, which she declined.

Just as the kettle finished boiling Nilesy looked to Lomadia and asked, “Hey, Lom-”

“It’s in the chest under the window,” she said, pointing to the chest in question.

“Ah-ha!” Nilesy clicked his fingers and opened the chest in question to fish out a cat toy. He then sat at the table, nodding at Lomadia in thanks when she placed a cup of tea before him, and started playing with one of the cats that had been following him around the room.

They continued talking about Witchery, only now Nilesy kept interjecting to suggest some bizarre and often vulgar things they could use the various spells for, never failing to get at least a chuckle from Lomadia. Nano ended up sitting back with the remnants of her tea and watching the two of them, what they’d each said still lingering in her mind.

Before long she stood, saying, “I should be heading off.”

A more serious look appeared on Lomadia’s face, stopping Nano in her tracks. “And what will you do when you leave?”

“Uh, I dunno,” Nano said with a nervous laugh. “Might catch up with a few friends. Why?”

“You didn’t really seem happy with our answers,” she said, folding her hands before her.

“Oh, I see,” Nano said, aiming for a joking tone and sitting again. “ _Now_ it’s time for the lecture.”

She gave a brief smile, saying, “Not quite. I don’t know what good lecturing you will do, and moreover I don’t think you talking with other people would be a bad idea. I’m sure they’ll give valuable insight into your situation.”

“I feel a ‘but’ coming.”

“ _But_ they can’t give you an answer to your problem.” She stood. “Just something to bear in mind.”

“Right,” Nano said, also standing. “I’ll be sure to do that.”

Lomadia’s smile returned and she gave Nano a tight hug. “You and Lalna should come by again soon,” she said as she pulled away. “And good luck with your soulmate.”

Nano grimaced but didn’t say anything in response, tugging at her necklace. Lomadia took pity on her and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before saying, “Goodbye, Nano.”

Nilesy leant over to ruffle her hair and say, “Bye, squirt.”

Nano waved him off and forced a smile on her face. “Bye. And thanks for talking with me.”

“Anytime.”

She left before the goodbyes could get too drawn out, but Lomadia’s words stayed with her. On a whim she changed directions, flying until the giant Hat Corp sign loomed ahead.


	3. All The Problems That You Made In Your Own Head

As Nano landed at Hat Corp she spotted Alsmiffy nearby. He was heading in the direction of their base, but upon noticing her he changed directions, taking quick strides towards her.

“Nano!” His normally featureless face split open like a knife wound, revealing razor-sharp teeth, and stayed frozen in a smile as he said, “To what do we owe this pleasure?”

A shiver went down Nano’s spine and she found herself reaching for her sword, binary wrapping around her hand and resolving in a ruby blade. “Nothing much. I just wanted to visit you guys, see what you were up to. It’s been too long.”

“Any time spent away from you, my dear, is far too long,” he said, stepping closer and draping an arm over her shoulders.

She shrugged it off and stepped away again. “Well, can I ask you a couple questions?”

“Shoot,” he said, thankfully staying where he was.

“Who’s your soulmate?”

There was a beat of silence before he burst into laughter, doubling over. Nano frowned, hand tightening on the grip of her sword. Eventually he straightened, wiping at his eyes, and said, “Ah, that was great. I mean, I knew you were dumb, but that’s a special kind of dumb that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.”

She scowled at him, lifting her sword as she said, “Just answer the question.”

His smile vanished as his hands shot up. “Woah, woah, woah! Put the bloody sword away, alright? You can’t just go around fucking threatening everyone who calls you a dumbass!” She hesitated, anger smouldering, before obliging, letting the sword unravel into strings of white binary. As he dusted his waistcoat off she heard him mutter, “Bloody maniac.”

The embers roared to life again and she snapped, “How about you stop insulting me and I don’t cut your dick off, does that sound good?”

He paused before shrugging. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

His nonchalance sent sparks through her veins and she didn’t even try to disguise the anger in her tone as she asked, “Now are you going to answer my question?”

“Wait, really? That was really a real question?” he said, sounding genuinely confused. “It’s Trott and Ross; who else would it be?”

“I didn’t know you could have more than one,” she said with a frown, more musing to herself than responding to him. She shook herself and continued, “Well, what makes them your soulmates?”

He tilted his head. “Is this a real question too?”

“Yes!”

“So fucking simple.” He shook his head, a glimmer of teeth becoming visible. “It’s that they always know what I’m thinking. Now, are there any other stupid questions you want to ask?” When she glared at him his hands shot up again. “Hey, I called your questions stupid, not you.”

“Well… I wanted to ask Trott and Ross, too,” she said, putting that aside for now.

“That sounds pointless,” he said before shrugging. “But suit yourself. Just try not to flux anything up.” With that, he bowed, one arm outstretched towards his base. “After you, m’lady.”

She managed to stop herself from hitting him but not from flipping him off as she stepped around him and entered their base. Once inside Nano paused for only a second to look around and Smith took the opportunity to disappear around a corner, giving no indication as to where the other two might be. She hurried after in the hopes of either asking him or simply following him to one of the others, but he was well and truly gone, so she just picked a direction at random and started walking, muttering curses under her breath.

As she rounded a corner she finally bumped into Ross, quite literally, rebounding off his chest and falling to the floor. He was unaffected, as immovable as rock. She glared up at him.

“Well well well, what do we have here?” he asked, staring down at her with piercing eyes.

She climbed to her feet, ignoring the fact that it still placed her at least a foot below him, and said, “I want to ask you some questions.”

“Oh, awfully abrupt of you!” he said with a wolfish grin. “Where’s the hello? The how-you-doing? The-”

She held her hand up, cutting him off. “Not in the mood. My question is apparently very simple, so just give me an answer and I’ll be out of your hair soon, no trouble needed.”

He cocked his head to one side. “But you always bring trouble. Last time you were here you snuck around our base all invisible, stealing our blood, watching us, you filthy little cu-”

She pulled her sword out again and rose up on her toes to try and gain even an inch on him. He fell silent beneath her glare and her irritation eased somewhat, but she still fought to keep her tone even when she said, “I’ve already said what I’m here for - to ask you a question. No stealing, no spying, no trouble.”

“Spying? Who said anything about spying, hm?” His head tilted the other way.

“Again, just answer my questions and I’ll leave,” she said, raising her sword to point at him instead of the ground.

His hands lifted, palms facing outward in a placating manner. “Okay, okay. What are your questions, little girl?”

“What makes Trott and Smith your soulmates?”

“They always know what I’m thinking.” His tone was bright and cheerful, smile softer than before.

Nano rolled her eyes, allowing herself to sink back down, though she kept her sword out. “Very funny. Did Smith tell you to say that?”

“What?” Instantly his demeanor changed, hands dropping and voice dropping to almost a growl. “You’ve already spoken to Smith? Why didn’t that bastard tell us there was a filthy spy walking around-”

“I already told you, I’m not a spy! Stop being so bloody paranoid!” She huffed and went to fold her arms before remembering the sword in her grasp, instead letting it fall to her side as she asked, “Where’s Trott?”

“Why? Going to ask him the same question?” He let out a bark of laughter. “Seems pointless.”

“Just tell me where he is.”

“He’s in the storage room,” he said, his wide, wolfish smile returning. “Don’t flux anything up!”

“No promises,” she said with faux-cheerfulness before stepping around him and walking back the way he came, trying to ignore the icy eyes boring into her.

She waited until she’d rounded a corner and the tell-tale tingling on the back of her neck had vanished before letting her sword disappear again. A quick look around to orient herself revealed that she was in the wrong area of their base, the quickest way to the storage room being in the opposite direction. She frowned and turned back to find that Ross had disappeared already, though she could hear laughter echoing down one of the corridors. Hurrying past, she was thankful not to run into either Ross or Smith on the rest of her journey.

It didn’t take her too long to find the storage room and Trott sat within, writing in a small notebook. He looked up when she entered and a shocked look quickly spread across his face. Apparently Smith and Ross hadn’t warned him of her impending visit. He recovered quickly and stood, pointing a flipper at her.

“Nano! I thought you’d learnt your lesson last time, don’t spy on us!” He paused to look her up and down, then said with a laugh, “Or, at the very least, spy on us better than this! I mean, come on! It’s like you’re not even trying!”

“I’m _not_ trying. I just came here to ask you a question, it’s not _my_ fault you guys are all so paranoid,” she said, frowning at him.

“A question, eh?” The tension eased out of him as he sat back down, putting the notebook into one of his pockets. “Well, go on then. What do you want to know?”

“What makes Smith and Ross your soulmates?”

“Hmm?” He stroked his chin, staring off into the distance. “I guess, if I have to say something, it’d be that they always-”

She waved her hand, finishing the sentence for him, “Always know what you’re thinking, yeah. That’s really it? All you have to say?” He nodded, shock once again painted all over his face. With a sigh she turned towards the exit. “Well, this was a huge waste of time. Thanks for nothing!”

As Nano walked away she found herself pulled to a halt, a flipper wrapped around her arm. He could move fast for a walrus.

“Hey! You’re the one who came here and wasted our time, valuable time, with this pointless endeavour. What were you really expecting from us?” Trott asked, leaning over her.

She frowned. Even the walrus was taller than her. Shaking him off, she said, "Yeah, no, I'm leaving!"

As she stepped forwards, shoving past Trott’s bulk, she found the way blocked by Alsmiffy and Ross. They sauntered in and reclined either side of the doorframe, smiling in the face of her scowl.

"Now, now, just answer the man," Smith said, tapping a wand against his palm. Lightning crackled around it. "No trouble needed."

She shook her head, arms folding. "No way. Let me go, I've got things to do."

"Things, huh?" This time it was Ross, tilting his head. "What kind of things? Robbing other people of their valuable time, is that it?"

"Maybe she's off to flux some buddies,” Smith said. "Busy day of fluxing around, is that it?"

Her frown deepened. "None of your business."

"Oh? Well, I think you've made it our business. You waste our time, we waste yours." Smith spread his hands with a shrug. "That's just the way it is, sweetheart."

"Don't call me that!" Her sword was in her hand again, anger thrumming through her veins.

"Fine, fine! No 'sweetheart',” he said, hands raised and wand disappearing. As she let her sword drop back down his gaze flickered over her shoulder. She spun around, suspecting a sneak attack, but found Trott just staring back at him. A beat later he met her eyes.

"Seriously, what are you doing here?" he asked, playful tone gone. "I don't remember you ever being this interested in our relationship before."

"It's complicated."

"Then simplify it."

She put her sword away to wave him off. "I can't. It's not so-"

"Simple?" Ross piped up.

"I think it is," Smith cut in, "What it seems like to us, is just, well..."

Nano turned back to him. "Just _what_?"

It was Trott who answered, "Just relationship problems. Trouble in paradise? Your flux buddy not all that anymore?"

Her hand flew to her necklace. "None of your business!"

"How come you're here alone?" Ross asked. "Where is he?"

She pushed Lalna out of her mind, shaking her head, "He’s- I- This has got nothing to do with-"

"Sure, sure. Whatever you say." Smith waved her off before pausing, brow furrowing. "But are you honestly trying to find your answers from us?" He gestured between himself and the other two. " _Us_?"

"What are you talking-"

"You're asking questions about soulmates," Trott cut her off. She turned to face him once more, fuming. "You want us to tell you what you need for a perfect relationship. But guess what?"

"The only people who can tell you that," Ross answered with a smile, "are you and your soulmate."

"And running around behind their back is only gonna make problems. Trust me," Smith finished.

She glared at him, necklace digging into her palm. "And why the hell should I trust you? You three have been less than helpful."

"Fine. Don't trust us. That's fair," he said with a shrug. "I can understand why you wouldn't trust us. Or why you won't trust anyone else." She ducked her head, cheeks burning, and heard his voice soften as he continued, "Honestly, I understand."

"But you _should_ trust your soulmate." Ross' tone was solemn. "Even if you trust no one else, trust them."

"But-"

"Sure, it could make problems," Trott said, tone far too casual.

"They could betray your trust,” Smith ticked their points off on his fingers.

“Use you,” Ross chimed in.

“Or manipulate you," Trott finished.

Ross shook his head. "But that's far less likely in a partnership. Remember-"

"There is something in them that speaks to something in you." Smith pointed at her. "Something unique to the two of you."

Trott put a flipper on her shoulder. "You'll never find that if you run around behind their back,"

"Lie to them," Smith.

"Or if you're the one who betrays them." Ross.

"Tell them the truth. And trust that they'll do the same.” Trott.

Nano heard a chuckle and looked up as Smith said, "Take it from us! We literally cannot lie or keep secrets when it comes to each other."

Ross had a dazzling smile on his face now. "And we are happy. I could not picture life without them." The look he gave the other two was so full of love that Nano had to turn away, towards Trott.

He squeezed her shoulder and spoke quietly, "We're not gonna tell you what to do. We can't. But please, for the sake of you-"

"And your partner-" Smith cut in.

"-take what we've said under advisement." With that, he let her go. Ross and Smith stepped apart, letting her leave, and as she walked past them she heard Trott call, "And be sure not to flux anything up on your way out!"

Her walk soon turned to a run and the twisting corridors became a mountainside. She came to a halt and stood there for a few moments, letting the fresh air clear her head. Lomadia’s words came back to her. This time she had a clear destination in mind as she hopped up into the air.


	4. Hearts Are Never Broken

Nano landed at Sjin’s farm and made her way to the farmhouse, where she found both Sjin and Xephos along with a few empty and not-so-empty bottles. As she stepped in Xephos leapt to his feet, hand shooting for the diamond sword at his hip, while Sjin just blinked up at her from his chair, his cheeks flushed.

“Calm your tits,” she said, hands half-raised. “I’m just here to talk.”

Xephos didn’t relax but his sword remained in its scabbard so Nano let her hands fall. A sleepy smile appeared on Sjin’s face and he waved his mug at her. His speech was slightly slurred as he said, “Hi, Nano! Come in, come in. D’you want something to drink?”

She wrinkled her nose at the smell of alcohol that permeated the room and shook her head. “No thanks, I’m good.”

He just shrugged and took another swig. Xephos mumbled something about broken machines and left, giving Nano a measured look as he passed, which Nano pushed from her mind in favour of taking the seat he’d vacated, moving his mostly-empty mug to one side.

“I have a quick question for you,” she said as she lifted her head. Her eyes drifted to the bottles scattered across the table and floor, surrounding Sjin, almost seeming to cage him in. She grimaced. “Don’t worry, I won’t be keeping you long. You can get back to drinking soon enough. I’ve just been asking other people about their soulmates and I was wondering about yours-”

A hand slammed against the table. Nano jumped, looking back at Sjin to find that his sudden anger had already vanished, leaving him looking almost lost. As his eyes started growing misty she wondered how many drinks he’d had.

“Look, Nano,” he said eventually, lifting his eyes to stare at a point a foot in front of her nose. “I know we haven’t always gotten along, but I consider us good friends. One of my closest friends! You and Xeph and Lal and- and…” he trailed off and stared into the depths of his mug. He’d definitely had too many drinks. A moment later his face contorted in anger and he spat, “Not Sips though, that, that _bastard_. He just shows up, talking about his big women and big money, and gave me a place in the world before making me feel like shit. He left _me_ , y’know. I never left him, _never_.”

She tried to cut in, “So-”

“He just buggered off,” Sjin talked over her, “back to making dirt, replacing me with Xephos and that Turps guy. He didn’t even care. I would’ve gone with him in a heartbeat, y’know, if he’d just asked.” He slumped down, a puppet with all of his strings cut. “But he didn’t. He left me broken hearted, in cheap, _worthless_ dirt. And do you want to know what the worst, the absolute _worst_ part of it all is?”

“He said that he loved me too.”

The words hung in the air, Sjin almost looking shocked at what he’d said, but it wasn’t long before he snorted, anger returning as he muttered, “As if that heartless bastard knows anything about love. I know _all_ about love; I know a hundred, no, a _thousand_ times more about love than he does.”

He took another drink. Despite his tone, an air of fragility seemed to surround him. It made Nano uncomfortable, unused to the type of pain Sjin was laying bare. She frowned and folded her hands on her lap, deciding to stay quiet for now.

A grimace crossed his face, as though he’d tasted something bitter, as he lowered his mug. “And he fucking proved me right! He fucking- he _tore_ my heart out and- and ground the pieces beneath his boot and it still- still hurts.” A hysterical edge crept into his tone as he continued, “And I see now, he, he never cared about _me_ , he just wanted someone to play with. So he played with me until he got bored, and then he threw me to the side like I was trash. _I_ brought him back from Mars, _I_ got him out of the statue, I, I did everything I could but it was never enough.” He blinked quickly, fighting tears, and said softly, “ _I_ was never enough.”

A moment later his eyes snapped up to meet hers, scarily focused for someone so drunk. “Trust me, Nano, all that you’re ever going to get out of a relationship is a broken heart. No matter how good it seems. He’ll always let you down.”

Xephos walked back in and the tense atmosphere shattered, leaving Nano reeling. She barely paid any attention as the two of them talked and Xephos gave one of his famous long-suffering sighs, too wrapped up in her own thoughts. Movement caught her gaze and she looked up to see Xephos all but carrying Sjin towards the stairs, the dopey grin on Sjin’s face suggesting that he’d already forgotten their conversation. But she couldn’t get it out of her mind. She couldn’t keep herself from wondering just what had happened between Sips and Sjin, what had changed so drastically since she’d met them. The memory of that explosive encounter and their mingled laughter stood in stark contrast to Sjin’s outburst. And, despite the anger she still felt towards them, she realised she felt sad.

At the sound of footsteps descending once again she gathered her thoughts and put them to one side for now, instead turning her attention to the way the steps sounded slower and heavier than they had before. When Xephos came into view she noticed how haggard he looked, though that expression was quickly wiped away by one of surprise as he noticed her still sitting there. His eyes darted to the ceiling.

“What did he say to you?” he asked, one hand making an aborted gesture towards the rooms above.

Nano frowned, trying to think of how best to sum up the conversation. Eventually she settled on, “He was talking about Sips.”

Xephos nodded, the glow from his eyes dimming slightly, and took a seat opposite her. As he stared down at the table she averted her gaze, wondering if she should leave. He didn’t make any move to throw her out though, too tired and lost in thought. She wondered how many times he’d sat through Sjin’s drunken rambles. Deciding to push her luck, she asked, “What happened between them? It… didn’t sound good.”

“Really bad breakup,” he said with a sigh. “I was there. Saw the whole thing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as devastated as Sjin.”

Silence fell between them again. This time it was Xephos who broke it, clasping his hands on the table and asking, “Did you know that Sips and Sjin were partners?”

She nodded, twisting her fingers together as she admitted, “I was asking about soulmates, so… yeah. I guess it kind of set him off.”

He hummed in agreement. “Sips and Sjin had a very strong partnership before… before this. They seemed perfect for each other. I mean, they’d been separated a few times, sure, but that’s fairly natural for soulmates. And they always got back together… I don’t think that’s going to happen this time, though. They just refuse to listen.” He paused before meeting her gaze. “What exactly was it you were asking about?”

“Not really anything specific, just,” she shrugged, looking away, “just wanted an overview, I guess.”

He nodded slowly before asking, “Do you mind if I talk about my partner?”

“Feel free.”

“Honeydew… I believe you’ve met him?” She gave a quick nod. “He is my best friend, and more. I’ve fought alongside him for years, we’ve saved the world and gone to the moon and built a bloody _Jaffa Factory_.” A smile crossed his face, eyes growing brighter, and Nano smiled back, but only a moment later Xephos faltered. His eyes slid away, the brightness leaving them, and she saw something in him change like a switch being flipped. Her shoulders tensed.

“We’ve been through a lot,” he continued in a more somber tone. “We would even die for each other. And I… I’ve never known anyone else quite like him.” He took a deep, shaky breath. “But recently, something… something happened, that I…” He closed his eyes and fell silent. When he reopened them they had dimmed further and he didn’t look up from his hands.

“He’s dead.”

Nano felt as though the air had been knocked clean out of her. She’d only met Honeydew on a handful of occasions but he had been amazingly easy to get along with, the type of person who could become friends with anyone. She knew that he and Lalna had been close, too. And, especially considering all the stories Lalna had told her about him and Xephos, he’d seemed almost invincible, like a hero from a fairy tale. She dimly realised that she’d been talking, stuttering out some trite words to try and convey her sympathy, and let her voice trail off. There was nothing that could be said.

Xephos gave her a small smile anyway before closing his eyes again. She could make out tears sliding down his face and let her gaze drop to the table, giving him some measure of privacy, as she clutched her necklace and tried to control her breathing.

“I haven’t told anyone,” Xephos said after a few minutes, “they all think he’s on holiday or something.” She looked up to find his eyes still lowered, hands still clasped. “The thing is, the souls of the partners are connected. Hence the name ‘soulmates’. And, depending on the strength of the bond, you get side effects. Hat Films can read each other’s minds, Sips and Sjin both felt physical pain when they broke that bond, and, as for myself and Honeydew…”

He shuddered and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “I… _felt_ it when he died. And I’m never going to get that part of me back. I will carry my friend with me forever.” Finally he looked up, giving what she thought was supposed to be a smile. “Sjin isn’t entirely wrong in his condemnation.”

An almost tangible weight hung in the air. Nano had no idea what to say in response, didn’t even know if she’d be able to get words out, but Xephos was once again the one to speak, his voice shaking.

“Honeydew would say that your soulmate is someone you can trust. Someone who’s always there for you, through thick and thin. You know without even looking that they’ve got your back. Someone you’d die for, and who’d die for you.”

He wiped his tears away and took a deep breath. His voice was calmer when he said, “I am planning on telling everyone else soon. Honeydew deserves a large funeral with all of his friends. But I thought, since you wanted to know about soulmates, that I’d tell you first. Would you do me a favour though?” Xephos looked straight at her, gaze piercing. Tear tracks still visible on his face. All she could do was nod. “Could you try and get through to Sips, convince him to talk to Sjin?”

He paused for a brief moment, possibly waiting for a response, but before she could do anything more than open her mouth his gaze cut away and he said, “And I’m guessing this visit was to do with your own soulmate, so a word of advice. Cherish every moment with them. It’ll hurt more when they’re gone, but I promise you the happy memories will be more than worth it.”

Her mouth clicked shut and she gave another nod. A shaky smile appeared on his face.

“Sorry for taking up so much of your time,” he said, standing up. “I’ll let you go now. But please, feel free to come and visit again soon.” His smile grew brighter, though his eyes remained dim.

“I’ll definitely visit more.” Her voice shook despite her best efforts to keep it even and she cleared her throat as she stood, eyes downcast in an effort to keep from tripping over the bottles and to hide the redness in her eyes. Once she felt relatively more put together she looked up again, forcing a smile as she said, “Thanks for talking with me.”

“Anytime.”


	5. If Brokenness Is A Work Of Art

Nano made her way over to Sips’s dirt factory. She wanted to give Xephos some space after their conversation, but it still lingered in her mind and made it hard to focus on the task at hand. What would she do when she found Sips? How could she convince him to talk to Sjin? It wasn’t as if she knew him that well. And if Xephos, who was good friends with both him and Sjin, couldn’t do it, what good would she be?

Realising Sips was nowhere to be found in this new factory, she sighed and took to the skies again. She flew aimlessly, still lost in thoughts about Xephos and Honeydew and Sips and Sjin, and soon the familiar shape of the old Sipsco compound loomed before her. Her eyes traced the toppled skyscraper, the ruins of an exploded building, the junk-filled pool, and eventually fell on a figure amidst the wreckage.

Sips jumped as she landed behind him, turning to face her. “Jesus, don’t sneak up on people like that. You almost gave me a heart attack,” he said, raising a hand to his chest as his eyes twinkled. She didn’t say anything, mind still awhirl, and he easily filled the silence.

“Pretty impressive, huh?” He gestured around them with a cocky grin before laughing and making a dismissive motion in her direction. “Yeah, yeah, it needs a bit of tidying up, but back in the day it was the coolest place around. Far better than that Girl Guides factory. And Rythian, he just built a freaking box! No imagination, that guy! Amirite?”

He glanced at her again, gaze appearing to go straight through her, and left a brief moment of silence, as though waiting for a response. When none came he continued, “I know, I know, ‘But what about Lalna’s castle?’” His voice pitched up in a bad impression of her. “Well, castle, schmastle. He didn’t have a motherfucking skyscraper!” This was delivered with an emphatic point at the remains of the building in question, a proud grin settling on his lips.

Nano decided to nod, though she still couldn’t think of anything to say, couldn’t even figure out where to begin. He turned to face her again, asking, “So, why did _you_ come here? Nostalgia? Remembering the good old days when you worked for me? Yeah, that was the life.” His smile changed, eyes drifting as he stared into the distance.

“No way! It was only one day, and you assholes blew me up!” The words burst out of her, gut instinct more than anything. Sips jumped, eyes focusing on her, and there was a flicker of some strange emotion before he recovered and his smile returned. She frowned, floundering for a second before deciding to just go for it, saying, “I was looking for you, actually.”

“Why’s that? Planning on getting your ‘revenge’?”

Nano shook her head. “No, not right now. I’ve just got a couple of questions for you.”

“Go ahead,” he said, spreading his arms wide, “I’m an open book.”

“I was wondering about soulmates.”

At the last word his smile faltered. With the silence pressing on her ears and no indication that he would be the one to break it, Nano tried again, “I’ve been asking people about their relationships with their partners. Who they are, what makes them so special, what’s unique about their relationship. I’ve, um... So far I’ve asked Lomadia and Nilesy, Hat Films, Xephos, Sjin…” She paused, letting the name hang in the air. “Would you mind talking?”

The entire world was still. Sips looked like a corpse before her, not even breathing. Guilt stirred in her stomach and she wondered if bringing up such a touchy subject had been a bad idea. His mouth twitched.

He barked out a short laugh and, though it should have eased the atmosphere, it only made her more tense, especially when he asked, “And what did Sjin say?”

She forced a chuckle and half-lied, “Oh, you know. He got really off topic. Started blathering on about something else. I couldn’t get a straight answer out of him.”

“Just like him,” he said, eyes soft, “he could never stay on one train of thought. I’d ask him about his plans for the factory and he’d end up talking about flax or something.” He gave a shaky laugh, then blinked and came back to himself with a sigh. “Anyway, I suppose I’d better answer. My partner i- _was_ Sjin,” he said, briefly stumbling over his words and giving a quick smile that looked rather forced. “The greatest thing was our conversations. We could continue talking for hours without running out of steam, just chatting away about any stupid thing that popped into our heads. I could say anything to him. I didn’t even need to think about it. Does, uh… does that answer your question?”

“Sort of. I, um,” Nano took a deep breath and forced herself to say, “I’m just curious about what happened between the two of you. You said you weren’t partners anymore? How did that happen?”

Sips’s expression flickered but before she could tell what he was thinking he hid it, turning his head to the side. “I dunno, it just happened. We wanted different things. I wanted to continue making high-quality dirt, and he… well, he wanted to go and mess around with chillies on his farm.”

“But Sjin said-” she quickly cut herself off.

“Sjin?” His head whipped back around. “Sjin said what? He was talking about me? To you? What did he say?”

When she didn’t answer he stepped towards her, tone turning wheedling. “Come on, Nano, you can tell me. We’re friends, right?”

She ducked her head. He was getting more desperate. “Do you want me to pay you? How much?”

He stepped forwards again, sounding pathetic as he begged, “It was about me, I think I’ve got a right to know! Please, come on…”

“He said that you broke his heart.”

Sips froze, eyes wide. Nano paused for only a second before deciding to continue, “He said that you broke his heart, and that he would have followed you to the new factory if you’d just asked. Or something along those lines.” She shrugged, her gaze dropping. “I don’t know, he said a lot of things.”

She forced herself to look back up at him, trying to meet his gaze, but found that he was once again staring through her with a shimmer in his eyes, face blank. Her stomach twisted further. Still, she made herself wait to see what he’d do.

After a few moments Sips blinked out of his stupor and turned away, rubbing a hand over his face. “He, uh…” He cleared his throat and tried again, “He really said that?”

He didn’t seem to be expecting a response, but Nano felt obliged to say, “It’s not your fault.”

He laughed, an ugly, broken sound. “Not my fault? Of course it’s my fault. Weren’t you listening?” He rubbed at his eyes as he said, “I made him feel like shit. I left him, I, I made him feel like he wasn’t enough. I played with him, treated him like a fucking tool; I mean, who does all that to a person?”

His hand dropped, but he still refused to meet her gaze. His voice grew softer as he said, “No wonder he hates me. I was fucking _horrible_ to him. I didn’t even have the balls to tell him how important he was to me. As if a quick ‘I love you’ was enough,” his tone turned mocking before he shook his head slowly. “No. It _is_ my fault, and now he hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you! Really, he doesn’t!” Nano said.

He scoffed but otherwise didn’t respond and she felt her frustration bubbling up. The day’s events were already wearing on her and she didn’t have the patience necessary to keep calm and talk him around. She could feel a headache building already and without thinking she spat, “But maybe he _should_ hate you, if you’re just going to act like this.”

Sips finally turned back to her but Nano ignored him, her patience suddenly gone. “You think sitting around and moping is going to fix anything? Is going to make either of you feel better? Do you think coming back to this _dump_ ,” she gestured to the ruins surrounding them, “is any substitute for the years and years you two spent together? If you’re going to be this fucking self-involved then you deserve to be alone. I hope you enjoy your dirt.”

“Yeah, well, good riddance!” Sips was yelling too, anger replacing sadness. “I don’t need you, and I don’t need Sjin! I’m fine on my own.”

“I’m sure. I’m sure you’ll be just _fine_ once you’ve cut everyone who gives a shit about you out of your life. Once you've _abandoned_ the people closest to you. I mean, did you even stop and think about him? Or were you just so concerned with what _you_ wanted that you didn’t even ask him-”

“So what? He’s perfectly happy with his little farm and his fucking chillies.”

“You didn’t even _ask_!” she repeated, voice catching in her throat. “You just ran off and didn’t think about the consequences!” Pausing to catch her breath, she realised there were tears in her eyes and dropped the necklace to rub at them, angry with herself for reacting like this. “You selfish _asshole_.”

“You’ve changed your tune,” he said, voice quieter. He almost sounded sympathetic.

“And you’ve changed yours!” The anger was still sizzling under her skin but she found herself losing steam as she continued, “When I was listening to Sjin talk about you, I could almost believe you were a decent human being at some point in your life, but you- you’ve been nothing but scum this entire time and only now are the people around you realising it. You’re right, no _good_ person would do what you’ve done.”

Sips said nothing and Nano looked up again, finding him watching her with a sad look on his face. She hated it, hated him, and, in that moment, hated herself too. But she forced herself to take another deep breath and then another and only when she felt the fire within her die did she say, “But Sjin _doesn’t_ hate you. I don’t think he’s capable of hating you, no matter how much you deserve it.” She swallowed thickly. “And I don’t think… you _do_ deserve it. Not completely.”

Slowly, he turned and walked to a bit of rubble from the sky scraper before taking a seat on it. Every motion looked like it dragged at him, pulling him deeper into some well she didn’t fully understand. Once he was seated he sighed, dark eyes staring through the ground.

“I didn’t mean to hurt him.” His voice sounded hollow. Empty. “I didn’t ask him to come with me because… because I thought he _wanted_ to go back to his farm. I saw everything, I saw how much it meant to him and- I mean, his life was better without me. I thought he’d finally gotten over me. That he didn’t need me anymore. I guess I just… didn’t want to hear him say it.”

The moment she took a step forwards, his eyes snapped up to meet hers with surprising focus. “All I’m ever going to do is break his heart. Why should I go back?”

“Because you both need each other,” she said, the words coming easily. “And because he’s hurting just as much as you are. You… you don’t want that, right?”

He nodded but still didn’t make a move. “I just… Do you really think he’ll want to see me after,” he gestured to their surroundings, to the wreckage around them, “after everything?”

“I do. The only way either of you can feel better is if you talk.” She paused, measuring his reaction before quietly saying, “Don’t make this decision for him. Not again.”

His gaze dropped to the floor, a faint pink tinge in his cheeks, but only a moment later he nodded and stood. “Right,” he said, easy smile reappearing on his face. “Yeah, I got this. And Nano… Thanks.”

She smiled at him, a warmth suffusing her that had nothing to do with anger. “Good luck.”

He nodded again and flew up, his smile becoming a grin as he sped off into the distance. Nano realised she was smiling too, though she could still feel the dried tears on her cheeks. She turned her focus to the happiness, the joy at actually being able to help someone, and soon laughter echoed through the abandoned compound. Rubbing her face clean, she leapt up into the air and flew off, smile unwavering.


	6. Exonerate My Blind Eye

As Nano flew over an ocean, no real direction in mind, she spotted what appeared to be a dungeon. Though she would normally ignore such a structure, her attention was drawn to the masses of sunflowers planted outside and the figure tending to them. When she drew closer she managed to identify the person as Strife. His suit was crumpled and covered in dirt and he had large leather gloves on, a far cry from the smartly dressed businessman she was used to. She flew down.

Strife looked up when she landed, a frown etched in every line of his face, though his tone was carefully civil as he said, “Hello, Nano. What brings you here?”

“I was just wondering what you were doing.”

“I’m not doing anything. I just came to visit Parvis.” His gaze returned to the flowers and he continued patting down the dirt around them as Nano surveyed the building before her. It definitely looked like a dungeon.

“Parv _lives_ here?”

“Yes. He renovated the dungeon. Well, I say _he_ renovated it, I was the one that did all the work.” He was silent for a moment, though she noticed his eyes darting to her. “Can I… help you with anything?”

She shook her head. “Nah, I- I mean, I’ve been asking people about soulmates but-”

“Oh, _soulmates_ ,” he cut her off, tone dripping with disdain. “Don’t even get me started on that whole… _mess_.”

Her brows pulled together as he rolled his eyes, freckles flickering green with the motion. She wondered briefly if she should change the subject, but soon curiosity won out and she asked, “What makes you say that?”

“The whole concept is just _wrong_. Right down to the core idea, the one person in the entire universe who knows you better than you know yourself- that kind of vulnerability is _never_ useful. I have _no_ idea how you creatures evolved in this way. Not to mention the ‘soul bonding’ process.” His voice sketched quotation marks around the words, hands busy picking up and planting another flower. “A part of you, part of your soul, becomes attached to the other person. Fused together. That _cannot_ be healthy in the long run.

“And if something happens,” he chuckled, but the words twisted Nano’s stomach into knots. She pushed aside the memory of sunlight glinting off bottles, trying to focus on his words as he continued, “if something happens, then _both_ people are affected. So if you’ve got someone like _Parvis_ ,” his freckles lit up again, a different pattern of light rippling across them, “as your soulmate, then you’re screwed. I mean, that kid is just _drawn_ to danger. I only visit so much to make sure he doesn’t kill himself.” He shook his head, frown deepening. “Partners are nothing but hassle and responsibility, one whole other person that you’re suddenly responsible for.

“You can’t choose your soulmate either, otherwise I bet Parvis would have chosen someone who’d encourage his destructive tendencies, and they’d both be dead within a week. It’d serve them right, too,” he muttered the last part to himself. “There are absolutely _no_ benefits to such an arrangement, either. It’s just: here’s this person who’s overly dependent on you and knows you inside and out! And you can’t leave them without some great harm befalling both of you! Good freaking luck if you get someone you hate. Which isn’t _supposed_ to happen, and yet…

“Just think about it! How many _healthy_ partnerships are there? _Enjoyable_? _Mutually beneficial_? It isn’t worth it. And I pity people whose soulmate dies before them,” her breath caught in her throat, “they get completely screwed over. Living the rest of their lives in pain. It’s cruel, and sadistic, and just plain _wrong_.”

He sighed, resting his hands on his lap as he finally looked back up at her. “Sorry for ranting at you. What was it you-” He paused, brows pulling together. “Are you okay? You look upset.”

“Hm?” Nano raised a hand to her face and was surprised to find it damp. Heat rose in her cheeks and she turned away, rubbing at her eyes with harsh motions. “No, I’m fine.”

She heard movement behind her before a handkerchief was thrust into her face. She looked over to see that Strife was also facing away, hands bare and posture stiff. As she took the fabric she felt the tension in her body ease slightly. His hand moved to rub at his neck.

“I, um,” he cleared his throat, letting his hand drop back to his side, “I’m sorry for upsetting you. I should have paid more attention to what I was saying.”

“It wasn’t you,” she said, sniffing. “I’ve just had a really long day, full of people ranting and unloading all of their problems. Not you, specifically.” She fiddled with the handkerchief, twisting it between her fingers.

“Ah. I see.” His eyes darted towards her again. “You mentioned you’d been asking people about soulmates? That certainly isn’t a simple topic; I can imagine that hearing people talk about it can be tiring or… upsetting.” He cleared his throat again, shifting his weight to his right leg. “Would you like to come in?”

“Um, yeah. Yeah, that would be nice. Thanks.”

Already turning to lead her inside, he waved her off and said, “Don’t mention it.”

They stepped into the building, Strife revealing a hidden staircase and leading her down it, favouring his left leg. She could see stiffness in his shoulders. She wondered if it was from working in the field or if she was somehow making him uncomfortable.

A moment later he spoke up, answering her question, “I suppose I should try to… make up for my earlier outburst. Don’t worry, I’ll be brief, but I wanted to say that I… may not have been entirely accurate when I said that there were _no_ benefits to partnerships. While I can’t think of _many_ off the top of my head, I can say that I have very rarely met partners who are not suited for one another in some way. More often than not, their relationship evolved naturally out of a strong friendship.” He rubbed the back of his neck, not looking back at her. “And there is… happiness to be found. A deeper, more profound happiness than can usually be found in other relationships. At least,” he shrugged, hand dropping, “according to my observations.”

As they came to the bottom of the stairs they found Parvis bent over an altar, knife clenched tightly in one hand. A moment later he looked up, knife vanishing into his inventory, and a bright grin spread across his face as he waved, scattering binary. “Hello Strifey!” A moment later his gaze landed on her. His grin widened and he quickly bounced down the steps before coming to a sharp halt in front of her. “And hello, other person!”

“Don’t call me that, Parvis,” Strife said, a rhythm to his words that suggested they’d been said many times before, “and hello. This is Nano. You know, Lalna’s apprentice?”

Nano jerked as Strife gestured to her, mind caught on the mention of Lalna. It felt like an age since this morning. She wondered how he was doing, if he was looking after himself alright. If he missed her. She was fiddling with her necklace again.

As she shook her thoughts off, forcing her hand back down, she found that Strife had shifted to stand between her and Parv, partially blocking him from view. It didn’t keep Parv from trying to lean around him to get a better look at Nano though, open curiosity on his face. A far cry from the sharp grin he’d had just moments prior. She straightened her shoulders and tried to give him a smile.

“Nice place,” she said, thankful her voice sounded calm.

His eyes lit up. “Thank you! Though really you should be saying that to Strifey-wifey, he’s the one who did all the work. Look, he even made a sorting system!” he said, turning to point up at another level where she could vaguely make out some pipes and chests.

When she looked at Strife she found that his freckles were glowing again, the tips of his ears now green as well. He scowled and the glow disappeared. “If only you’d keep from breaking it every two minutes,” he said, the words once again sounding rote.

“But I promise I haven’t broken it this time!” Parv turned back with an earnest expression on his face. “I just did an ickle-little experiment, and I mean, you love experiments, don’t you Strifeykins, but it’s been working fine since then, I think, I haven’t really used it because I got distracted, I don’t think I even finished the experiment, but it’s definitely not broken!”

Strife sighed, running a hand over his face. “Right. Regardless, I think I will go check it out.” He paused before turning back to Nano. “But it can wait. Do you want to take a seat?”

Parv tilted his head, staring at Strife with a bemused expression. “We don’t have any seats.”

“Ah, right, of course.” His freckles lit up again and he looked about, gaze landing on the entrance to another room. “You could sit down on the beds, though. They should be relatively comfortable. I don’t think Parv even uses them, so there shouldn’t be anything… unsavoury among the sheets, either.”

As Parv burst into giggles, Nano shook her head and said, “I’m fine. I don’t think I’ll be staying long, anyway.”

“Are you sure?” Strife asked, gaze surprisingly soft as he looked back at her. Parv instantly fell silent. “You’re welcome to rest if you need it.”

She paused, thrown for a moment by his concern, before focusing on how she was feeling. The first thing that hit her was a bone deep tiredness, closely followed by a throbbing headache. Beyond that she felt physically fine, and she put aside the question of her emotions for the time being, instead asking, “Do you have any tea?”

Strife sighed and turned towards the higher level. “I’ll need to go through the sorting system to find out…” His gaze darted to her and away again. “It shouldn’t take long. You can take a seat in the meantime.” 

This time she didn’t argue.


	7. No One Ever Tells You That Forever Feels Like Home

After inspecting one of the beds and finding it thankfully clean, Nano sat down, only then noticing Parv lingering in the doorway. There was a slight furrow in his brow.

“Did you want something?”

He shrugged and stepped further into the room, watching her closely. There was something hesitant in his motions, a question clearly on his mind. She remained silent, waiting until he finally asked, “What were you doing here?”

Though the question was simple enough, she still struggled to come up with an answer to it, not wanting to give any hints of her still-fragile state of mind. In the end she just shrugged. “I don’t know. I was flying around and saw Strife looking after those sunflowers and… I guess I was curious. Or cowardly.” Unbidden, her thoughts returned to that morning. She quickly forced them away.

“Cowardly?” he repeated. She didn’t say anything. “Is it to do with you crying?”

Her head snapped up, brows pulling together in some mixture of embarrassment and confusion. He just grinned and said, “I notice everything about Strifey!” Her confusion deepened, but he didn't give her any chance to ask questions as he continued, “Like how he makes a little purring noise when he sleeps, or those glowing green freckles he’s got? They’re on his shoulders too, and they’re bioluminescent which means they glow and they look really pretty in the dark. And when I break the sorting system he’ll fix it and say that next time, he won’t be so kind, but he’s always kind and always fixes it. And he takes his coffee black, no milk or sugar, and has an average of ten cups a day, and he’s the same species as Xephos but a different caste, and he’s actually missing his left leg but he replaced it with machinery ages ago so now he’s like a cyborg or something, but I don’t think his leg was looked after properly because it still hurts him a lot.” He stopped himself, smile turning almost sheepish. “Anyway. I know he always has a handkerchief in the breast pocket of his waistcoat. And I know it wasn’t there when you came in.”

She looked down, cheeks burning. The distant sounds of Strife working filled the air, neither of them saying a word to disturb it. Parv was motionless and she didn’t know if he was still watching her or still smiling or whatever, but she knew she wanted him to leave. He didn’t.

“So…” he eventually said, taking a step closer, “why were you crying?”

Anger flared up. That simple question combined with all the day’s aches, every sob story she’d heard, Parvis’ own ignorance to everything going on around him, and a million and one other little things and she found herself firing back, “Why aren’t _you_? How can you be happy being Strife’s soulmate, knowing he doesn’t care about you? About any of this?”

“He _does_ care!” If he was surprised at Nano’s anger, it didn’t show in his voice. “There’s no need for him to visit everyday, or plant sunflowers, or go on dungeon adventures with me, but he _always_ does! He _always_ goes one step beyond. He stays the night even when he could go home and he brings over food that isn’t just bread and he gives me tips on blood magic even though he hates it. I mean, actions speak louder than words, don’t they?”

“But-”

“He might _say_ bad things about soulmates, but that- that doesn’t mean anything. And besides, I’m here to balance him out. To… look after him, as much as he looks after me. Even if he doesn’t realise it.”

Her hands balled into fists, binary starting to curl around them. “But how do you _know_ he cares about you?”

“I can feel it.” A movement caught her gaze and she looked up to find him tapping his chest, smiling at her. There was a subdued edge to his smile, and she knew her words had affected him in some way. Her stomach twisted and her anger fell away even as he said, “I can feel his heart beating alongside my own, and I _know_ that only happens with strong bonds. I know he loves me.”

Her gaze slipped away. She almost envied that clear certainty. Maybe that was what pushed her to say, “But… back in the early days, when you just met Strife, you couldn’t have known. Even after you’d known him for a while…” She forced herself to look back at him. “When- _How_ did you know that he was your soulmate?”

He was silent for a moment, a thoughtful look crossing his face, before saying in a sober tone, “It's different for different people. I think beings like Martyn and Zoey are drawn to their soulmate, which is why they come to this dimension. To find them. So they know from the beginning, and I think that must make it easier for them to stay together. But I don’t know. For other people…" he paused, eyes darting away. "It can be a struggle. There aren't fireworks, there's no big moment. No revelation. No sudden shift in your feelings towards them. Instead there's just a quiet acceptance that this person, that your relationship to them, is different, and that it has been for a long time. And Strife,” he chuckled, looking up at the wall, towards Strife, again, “well, I had to tell him. His culture doesn’t have anything like this, and I think that’s why… why he still denies it.” His voice shook slightly on the last few words.

Her gaze fell to her hands as she tried to find some words to make up for her outburst. But nothing came. After a few moments Parv moved aside, leaning against a wall with his head lowered as Strife came back in with a steaming mug.

“We only had peppermint, I’m afraid. Would that be okay?” he asked, holding it carefully. The mug was black and chipped, a white logo on the side that she didn’t recognise.

“Yeah,” she said, finally finding her voice. “Thanks.”

He gave a jerky nod and handed her the mug, which she took with a quick smile. Behind him, Parv slipped out of the room on silent feet. She tried to catch his gaze, or even just a glimpse of his face, but he kept it turned away as he left.

“Are you alright?” Strife asked, drawing her attention. “Parvis didn’t bother you too much, did he?”

“I think I was the one bothering him,” she said with a grimace, clutching the mug tighter. It burned against her fingers.

“Really? Seems like it would be the other way round,” he said, glancing towards the door.

Nano just looked down at the mug and wondered what she could possibly say. Strife soon turned back to her, seeming just as lost for words but watching her with a furrowed brow.

“Are you alright?” he repeated.

“I… What are your feelings towards Parv?” she asked, the words surprising her as much as they did Strife.

He stared at her with wide eyes for a heartbeat before looking away. For a moment she thought he wouldn’t answer, or worse, but then his eyes darted back to her and softened.

“I care about him,” he said quietly. “And I’m worried about what the Blood Magic will do to him. The writing’s on the wall and… I guess I’m too much of a coward to deal with it.” He looked away again, clearing his throat. “But I don’t… want to upset you further, so. I hope you enjoy your tea.”

“Actually, I should be heading off,” she said, finding the strength to stand and hand him back the cup. He stared at her in bewilderment. “And I think Parv needs that more than I do.”

“…Right.” He looked down at the mug and back up at her. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, much. Thank you.”

She strode out the door and towards the stairs without even a glance at Parv, not sure what she’d find if she did look and too scared to find out. Conversation started up behind her, but she similarly ignored it, heading out among the sunflowers and pulling her glider out as she looked towards the sky. She had just jumped up when the door opened again.

“Wait!”

She looked down to see Parv running out the door and rise up into the sky with jerky, awkward movements, a far cry from the smooth motions of the jetpack she was using. In less than a second he was before her, grin back in place and binary wrapping around his hands as he pulled something from his inventory. Yellow filled her vision.

“For your soulmate,” he said, pressing the bouquet of sunflowers into her hands before gravity took over again, pulling him down.

She hung there for a moment more, not knowing how to thank him, but he just waved up at her and turned back to the door where Strife stood, still looking confused and still holding that mug. The confusion slid away when he met her eyes, replaced by a tight smile and a nod. She nodded back and watched Parv take the mug and press a kiss to his cheek before heading back inside. Strife threw one last look towards Nano, green light rippling across his freckles, before following.

When they were gone she turned her gaze on the flowers, a smile spreading across her face. After putting them in her inventory for safekeeping, she pulled out her glider and flew off once more.


	8. Our Minds Are Troubled By The Emptiness

Nano flew over the ocean, scanning her surroundings. Her meeting with Strife and Parv had reminded her of just what she’d left at home that morning, what she still needed to fix. But, no matter where she looked, all she could see was water. She pulled out her map, slowly drifting down as she looked over it, a frown crossing over her face. She found Sips’ dirt factory and even the ruins of his previous one, but she struggled to remember the direction she’d flown after that. She put the map away and pulled out her glider to catch the air, choosing a direction at random to head in. Once she was on solid ground, it would be easier to orient herself. She hoped.

Eventually she came across land and then a forest. Still not recognising anything, she flew onwards, keeping an eye out for anything recognisable. But instead of a landmark she ended up finding signs of life, a small clearing with a tent and a few other items in it. She dropped down to investigate.

“Hey!” called a voice. She turned towards it to find Martyn stepping out from under the trees, one hand lifted in a wave. “What’s up?”

“Oh, hey Martyn!” she said, flashing him a smile. “I didn't know you lived here.”

"What, the middle of the forest?"

"No, here in general. This domain. I thought you moved out a while back?"

Realisation crossed his face followed by an awkward smile. "Ah, no. That was Toby. I decided to stick around."

Nano’s smile fell and she quickly looked away, her gaze drawn to the camp. She now saw that, though the tent was large enough for two people to live in, there was only one bed and an empty space where another one might have been. In the centre of the clearing there was a fire pit with two stumps beside, but only one showed any signs of recent wear and tear while the other had a ring of stones around its base for some reason she couldn’t guess at.

“Oh, I’m…” she glanced back, grimacing, “Do you mind if I ask…?”

“What happened?" he asked, rubbing his neck. "It’s not, um, really something I want to get into. But it’s for the best.”

"I thought you were soulmates?"

"Well, yeah. Not anymore."

He looked uncomfortable with the conversation and Nano hesitated, not wanting to pry any further, but she had to ask, “I mean, it’s none of my business, but isn’t it painful? I heard breaking that bond would hurt.”

He gave a half-nod and said, “Me and Toby talked about it, a lot, and agreed that it’s for the best. We still meet up every Winter. We’re… we’re fine.”

“Right.” Trying to lighten her tone a bit, she continued, “Don’t worry, I can take a hint! I’ll stop prying now.”

Martyn waved her off, smile reappearing. “No, no, it’s fine! I understand why you’d be curious.” He paused. “So, uh, what are you doing here?”

“I need directions, actually,” she said, pulling out her map and gesturing to it. “And maybe a cup of tea, but I don’t want to overstay or anyth-”

“Nah, it’s fine,” he said, already turning towards the chests. “I’d be happy for the company, honestly! It gets lonely out here in the woods.”

She nodded, putting the map away for now. “I’d be happy to stay for a while, then.”

He started making the tea, putting the kettle on the fire pit to heat as he got everything else ready. She noticed him hesitating as he pulled out the mugs, and when he handed her the green one with his own spiral symbol on the side she said nothing, taking a seat on the grass beside the fire as he sat on the more used of the two stumps.

“Can I see your map?” he asked.

She gave it to him. As he looked over it, she blew on her tea to try and cool it down before chancing a sip. It still burned her tongue.

“Right… I don’t think I can really help, I’m afraid,” he said a few moments later. “I don’t really recognise any of this. Keep to myself too much.”

“Damn,” she muttered. He was silent, and when she looked back up she found him watching her closely. “What?”

“I was just wondering, do _you_ have a soulmate?”

She frowned, wrapping her hands around the mug. “I… it’s complicated.” The words felt like a lie at this point, and maybe Martyn saw through that. Regardless, he just gave a knowing nod, returning his gaze to his cup.

“I get that. Things with me and Tobes… They were messy.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it-”

A wavering smile crossed his face as he shook his head, saying, “It can be good to talk about things. And I’ve not talked about Toby with anyone recently. Though to be fair, I’ve not really talked to anyone _at all_ recently.”

She paused before nodding, forcing a smile of her own. “Well, I’m happy to lend an ear.”

His smile grew firmer. “Thanks.” For a few moments, that was all he said.

“I loved him,” he eventually said, tone distant. “I _still_ love him. He was my best friend, a hundred times over, and I wanted what was best for him. And none of that has gone away, even though he’s not around anymore. Right alongside all the pain and everything… or maybe they’re one and the same?” He chuckled. “Not to get poetic or anything. But I just remember back before everything, when I’d turn around and he’d just be there, waiting for me. He was always there for me. Even when… even when it hurt him. And when I finally realised what was happening…”

He took a deep breath and tapped the trunk beside him, the one ringed with stones. “Where I come from, trees are as sentient as people,” he said. Nano blinked, startled at the change in topic, but nodded along anyway. “I struggled with that when I came here. Struggled with a lot of other things, too, especially to do with people. But whenever I cut down a tree, I wanted to say sorry to it. I ended up leaving a ring of stones around the base as essentially a gravestone. And as a way of saying sorry.”

She frowned, eyes turned on the ring of stones. After a few more moments he said, “I think that was the hardest part of it all. Apologising for something I hadn’t realised I’d done. But it was hurting him, so I needed to say it and I needed to help him. Even if now I’m left tripping over empty spaces.”

He tapped the stump again before cradling his cup and taking a sip. She did the same, thinking over his words. Silence fell between the two of them. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, it was simply filled with deep thought.

Before long Nano finished her tea and stood. She felt heavy, laden down with everything that had been said and her own worries. It was a struggle to smile, though she tried her best to give one to Martyn.

“Thanks for the tea.”

“Thank _you_ for letting me ramble,” he said, putting the mugs away. “It was nice to have a visitor, if tiring. I think I’m gonna need to spend some time recovering, so… feel free to drop by again in a month!”

She laughed, feeling just a bit lighter. As he held out the map she reached to take it back, but he held tight for a moment.

“I think… there are some people in that direction,” he said, gesturing over her shoulder. “I don’t know if it’s a village or actual proper people, but it might be worth checking out.”

Tension eased from her shoulders. “That’s really great - thank you.”

He grinned, letting her take the map. “Well, I hope you get home soon. And that things get better with your soulmate.”

She paused in putting the map away, the binary hanging in the air. “Thanks. I... You've given me a lot to think about.” She pulled herself together, and ensured the map was in her inventory before giving Martyn another smile. “Thanks. Again.”

“No problem.”

She lifted up and, after exchanging one last wave with Martyn, started flying in the direction he'd indicated. As she flew she noticed the sun beginning to set. A weight settled in her stomach, but there was nothing she could do but push on, hoping to soon spot some sign of civilisation.


	9. Loving Can Mend Your Soul

Eventually Nano flew over a desert and spotted a cluster of houses up ahead, her stomach sinking when she realised it was just a village. As she debated the merits of hiding out in one of their houses until the morning when there would be more light to see by, she noticed a blurry shape just over a mound that didn’t seem quite natural.

She drew closer and saw that the shape was actually a dinosaur statue with a camp sprawled beneath it, three familiar figures exiting one of the tents at that very moment. A relieved smile spread across her face and she dropped down to greet them. She heard a squeal and the next thing she knew two arms were crushing her, red hair filling her vision.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! It's _so_ good to see you again!” Zoey squeezed her even tighter, to the point that Nano felt she was in danger of passing out, before finally stepping back to look her over. “It's been so long! How've you been? Are you well? You look well! Maybe a little tired. And what about Lalna? How is he? Wait, actually,” she stared up at the sky, “ _where_ is he?”

Nano looked away, smile wavering. “He's, uh... Well, I came here alone. And I don’t want to stay long, so-”

“But you have to stay for supper! I'll even make something with meat in it, since Rythian isn't going to be the only carnivore at the table.” She grinned, showing that her words were light-hearted.

“Doesn’t Teep eat meat?”

“Oh, he prefers to eat by himself. I think the smell of cooked food puts him off? Or something? I don't know, it's still a bit difficult to communicate with him. Mute dinosaur and all - he’s not a _great_ conversationalist. Anyway, supper?”

“If you'd just give me directions-”

Zoey cut her off again, “You look dead on your feet! You _definitely_ shouldn’t be flying right now. Sit down, have some food, take a break before doing whatever it is you need to do.”

Nano still hesitated, glancing at Rythian to see if he’d help. He simply shrugged, giving Zoey a fond look. Not seeing any other way out, Nano sighed and nodded.

“Great! Now then, I've got to make food,” Zoey said, finally letting her go to prop her hands on her hips. “Don’t worry, it shouldn't take me long! Do you want to come and help? Or just chat, it's been an absolute _age_ since I've seen you.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Her grin widened before she twirled to face the other two. “Rythie, you can just go back to doing… whatever weird magic thing you were doing earlier,” she said, making a shooing motion.

Rythian sighed but obliged, disappearing back into one of the tents, and Zoey made her way across the camp to an outdoor cooking area. Nano followed, leaving Teep to head to the dinosaur tower she’d noticed earlier. As Zoey started pulling ingredients out of chests Nano found somewhere to seat herself, staring across the desert at the setting sun. She wondered how Lalna was doing.

“I don't think I've ever asked where you got that necklace,” Zoey said, pulling Nano out of her thoughts to realise she'd been grasping it again. “It's really very pretty. Sapphire, right?”

“Yeah.” Her instinct was to drop her hand. Instead, she made herself hold the necklace out so that Zoey could get a better look at it. “Lalna gave it to me as a gift a while back.”

“Aw, that's sweet!” she cooed, smile somehow brightening. “Rythie's always doing stuff like that. I've lost track of how many rings he's given me.”

“Rings?”

“ _Magic_ rings,” she wiggled her fingers, “of course. I can set things on fire with them. Or make crops grow faster. I've got all sorts of rings for different uses, but those two are my absolute favourites. It doesn't help that I keep losing them, though!”

“Your ring can set fire to stuff? That sounds awesome!” A grin broke out across Nano’s face. It fell slightly as she continued, “I mean, this necklace is pretty bog standard.”

“It still seems like it means a lot to you.”

She looked away, stomach twisting. “Yeah, well. You know.”

“I do.”

For a few moments all Nano heard was the clattering of pans before Zoey spoke again, “What are you doing all the way out here? I mean, not that it isn't lovely to see you, but you've literally never visited us before. Like, _ever_.”

“I just dropped in for directions back home.”

“Well, Rythian can give them to you after supper, he's got his cool enchanted map thingy that shows him where everyone is. But you still haven't told me why you were in the area. And on your own, no less!”

Nano huffed, folding her arms. “Lalna's not my babysitter! I don't need to be kept on a leash.”

Zoey burst out laughing and Nano’s annoyance quickly slipped away. “I wasn't saying that! It just always seems like you're surrounded by people. Lomadia, Kirin, Hat Films; _everyone_ loves you. Lalna especially so!”

“Oh.” She felt her cheeks warm. “Really?”

“Mhmm!”

Zoey pulled out a knife and started cutting the vegetables, tongue sticking out slightly as she worked. Nano watched her for a while before admitting, “I was out here for a pretty stupid reason.”

She gasped, dropping a carrot. “You and Lalna didn't have a fight, did you?”

“What? No!” Nano shifted, a frown tugging at her lips. “Well, not _really_. I just…” She looked away once more, organising her thoughts. She found herself wanting to tell Zoey at least part of the day’s troubles, wanting the comfort she was sure the other would give. It was still difficult to get the words out, but after taking a deep breath she managed to say, “I… found something out. Something that scared me. And I maybe didn't react in the best way… But since then I've been asking other people all these questions to try and fix it. Or something.” A sigh escaped her. “At this point I don't really know.”

“Sounds like a mess.”

“That's putting it lightly,” she muttered. Zoey didn't respond, focusing entirely on the food. Only once the meat was cooking did Nano ask, “Do you think it’s wrong to run away?”

“Run away?” Zoey repeated, cleaning her hands off. “I guess it depends on the situation. Like, if there’s a bomb about to go off, then yeah, you should probably be running for the hills.” She gave a slight chuckle, but her hand lingered on her robot arm and Nano could see pain in her eyes.

“What about from a- a relationship problem? One that you caused.”

“Oh, I did that once. Created a secret lab and Rythie got all grumpy and I got all scared and ran off and started flirting with people I shouldn’t flirt with and I got a tattoo and I ended up in jail. And then one of my best friends sacrificed himself to rescue me,” she said, sounding remarkably matter of fact. When she saw the look on Nano’s face she smiled. “I think he’s happier now? Wow, that sounds dark. But to actually answer your question, I _think_ things would have been better if I’d just stayed and talked to Rythian instead of running away. But I don’t know. He said he wasn’t angry and that he just wanted to talk, _but_.” She shrugged, not elaborating. “Besides, I wouldn’t have gotten this awesome tattoo if I hadn’t run away!”

“Right. That… doesn’t really help.”

“Okay,” Zoey said, sitting on the counter beside her. “Basically, I think it’s okay to be scared! Relationships are terrifying and I keep freaking out even _now_ about everything between me and Rythian and back then I think that _I_ needed to run away to- to sort my own thoughts out? But staying away hurt _him_ and he got all scary and maybe killed my dad - but don’t tell him I know about that - and while I was gone I ended up getting hurt too, because… well, because of a lot of things. Not really related, honestly, you can just ignore that bit.”

“Was this meant to be simpler?”

She made a face. “Yeah, I know.”

Nano waited for her to continue, but for a while it didn’t seem like she would. Her gaze drifted to the night sky and she fell silent, just letting her legs swing. Her usual manic energy had been replaced with something almost somber.

“I think the thing is,” she eventually said, “is that I don’t like being away from him. No matter what’s going on. When we’re not together I miss him so bad that it hurts, and I only realise I missed him so much when I see him again. Like, literally, when I came back there was colour in the world again and rainbows and bright sunshine and the whole shebang! Well, maybe not _literally_ -literally, but y’know. In here.” She tapped her heart. “And I think that’s because I _knew_ I didn’t really want to stay away. And sure, it helped for a bit, and none of this is to say I think it’s right to stay if it’s gonna hurt you in any way, but… well, this is all about me and Rythie, so.”

“So…” Nano repeated, thinking over everything she’d said, “if I’m freaking out about something it’s okay to take a breather, but don’t ignore my feelings if they say it’s time to go back?”

“Exactly!” Zoey said, grin reappearing. Nano let herself smile back. A moment later that somber mood fell over Zoey again. She looked down at her knees before speaking, voice slow as if thinking over every single word, “And… I’m happy for you and Lalna, I really am. From what I’ve heard, it’s good that you two found each other! But I know that being good for each other doesn’t always make everything okay.” She looked back up at Nano. “If you ever need to run away again, we’ve got a place for you.”

For a moment, Nano didn’t know what to say. Eventually she just stood to pull Zoey into a hug.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, all but clinging to Zoey. She felt a smile against her cheek and a metal hand running through her hair, the other pressed tightly against her back.

They had to part before long as a timer went off, Zoey jumping down to plate up the food. Nano lent a hand, putting the conversation aside for the moment, but made a mental promise to head back to Pandalabs as soon as the meal was done. She’d been gone far too long.


	10. We'll Tell Our Stories On These Walls

Rythian came out of his tent to sit at a table underneath the night sky, where they shortly joined him with the food. Nano, realising she hadn’t eaten in ages, grabbed a double serving of everything she could and spent a few minutes working through it as Zoey and Rythian talked, only half an ear turned on their conversation. When she heard them mention soulmates she paused to pay more attention.

“…Hector, and though he’s a scientist, he’s written a very interesting study on what souls exactly are, which has been referenced a lot in subsequent soulmate analyses,” Rythian said, spearing bits of carrot on his fork. There was quite a lot of food still on there and Nano wondered briefly how he was going to eat it, as he didn’t bring the fork to his mouth nor did he lower his scarf.

“There are soulmate analyses?” Nano asked, lowering her cutlery. “What are those like?”

His eyes darted up to hers. “Well, the question of soulmates is one that has confounded philosophers for millenia. People from all walks of life have written entire books on the subject, only for a lot of them to find out their own relationship is entirely unique, rendering the entire book, in a sense, worthless. Most soulmate scholars still gather them, as that situation is a part of what interests them about soulmates in the first place. Since no two people are identical, no two relationships are either.” He paused, mask twitching. “And I personally find that they make for quite interesting stories.”

“ _Tell_ me about it,” she said, reminded of the many different tales she’d heard today alone.

“Are you interested in the topic of soulmates, then?”

“Eh, you could say that.”

Realisation lit up in his eyes. “Ah. You, like many others before you, have gone looking for answers where there are only more questions and other people’s tales.”

She frowned, letting her gaze drop to her plate. “Is that… common?”

“Yes, of course. It could be said that it’s the entire reason people study soulmates in the first place. And it is perfectly natural to want answers when presented with as vague and nebulous a concept as a ‘soulmate’.”

“But it doesn’t actually help with your own relationship, I know,” she cut in, sighing. “I’ve heard this spiel before.”

He paused before slowly saying, “I wouldn’t say it doesn’t _help_ , but that there’s nothing you could learn from other _partnerships_ that you couldn’t learn from simple _relationships_. Listen to each other, talk about things, and, if it doesn’t work out,” he spread his hands, “there are reasons. Those reasons can be worked on, or it might be better to simply part ways. Etcetera, etcetera.”

“But it doesn’t seem like that,” she said, folding her arms on the table. “Everyone I’ve talked to seems to place their soulmate above or apart from other relationships, and then people try and just say ‘it’s the same as any other relationship’? That sounds like nonsense!”

“While it does seem like that, the two are not mutually exclusive. Think back to the people you’ve talked to, the partnerships they were in. Are the strengths of their relationship down to anything other than communication and love? Are the weaknesses the fault of the universe or them? Yes there are certain side effects that may make the relationship _feel_ different, but the healthiest ones are treated just like any other.”

She frowned. “But you two… you have the cliche partnership, don’t you? Rainbows and sparkles and whatnot.”

“I’m colourblind. No rainbows for me.”

“ _I’ve_ got rainbows enough for the both of us!” Zoey cut in, winking at Nano, who giggled as Rythian continued.

“But that’s _exactly_ what I am talking about. Yes, we seem ‘magically’ suited to one another, if you want to be reductive about it, but we’ve had our struggles. We have worked hard to get to this point. And I, personally, am very happy that we did.” His mask twitched again, in what she assumed was a smile, as he looked to Zoey. “I am thankful that the universe brought us together and that our faults did not drive us apart. I feel like… you have made me a better person, Zoeya.”

“Aw, shucks,” she said, turning pink. “Love you too, bud!”

There was a faint flush on what was visible of Rythian’s cheeks before he turned back to Nano, who was struggling to keep a smile off her face. “I hope that has helped you understand the seeming contradiction,” he said, folding his hands atop one another.

“Yeah, no, that helped a lot. But I am curious… I mean, you talk like you have all the answers, but surely you must have some questions?”

He chuckled. “I’m glad I give off that impression. But yes, there are many questions still unanswered. At its core, it's a very difficult concept to explain, based more upon a series of complex emotions than any rational cognitive process. A lot of the most interesting books come down to simply trying to define what a soulmate _is_ , _why_ the universe decided these people belonged together. And if you took that away… what remained? Would they be friends? Would they even meet in the first place? I spent many a night pondering those questions in relation to us. After all, Zoey would not even be in this dimension if she weren’t searching for her soulmate.”

Her mind caught on the use of ‘spent’. “What changed?”

“That would be my doing, I think,” Zoey said with a cheery grin. “I kept telling him he’d never find those answers and that, instead, he should just focus on what _is_! That's the way for a happy life.”

“And that… helped?”

Rythian nodded. “Not just with the soulmate thing. If I’d decided to focus on what _could_ have been instead of what actually _has_ been or what currently _is_ , I would have lost myself in a cycle of vengeance. And with it… I would have lost Zoey, in one way or another. I’m happy I decided to bury the hatchet with Lalna, while I could.”

Nano’s gaze dropped at the mention of Lalna and she found her hand drifting to her necklace again. The other two were silent, and she didn’t dare look up to see what they were thinking. Eventually Rythian spoke.

“Is he well?”

“He’s… he was fine, last I saw.”

“And when was that?”

Her gaze skittered across the dark horizon. “This morning.” It felt longer.

“Do you still live in the castle?”

“Oh!” Zoey cut in, her bubbly voice drawing Nano out of her thoughts. “Gosh, I remember the castle! It’s been so long… It looked like something out of a fairy tale!”

“We don’t live in the castle, no,” Nano said, sitting up straighter and putting her hands in her lap. “We have a little lab - well, more of a house, I guess - and we’ve also got some cats. It’s… it’s nice.”

“It _sounds_ nice! Doesn’t that sound nice, Rythie?”

He nodded, watching her closely. “Are you and Lalna-”

“We’re… friends,” Nano cut him off, wondering why she had done so.

“Rythie, be nice,” Zoey said.

“I’m glad Lalna has found a friend,” he said without acknowledging Zoey. “Perhaps now he will stop turning homes into craters.”

“…That’s not nice.”

“It was a joke!” he said, turning to Zoey. “I was joking!”

“Right, sure it was.” Zoey rolled her eyes, catching Nano’s gaze briefly and grinning. Nano smiled back.

“Actually,” she said, “if anything, he’s gotten worse. I’m a terrible influence.”

“…Oh dear,” Rythian said. “How much worse…?”

“The castle is now a fluxed-up hole in the ground.”

He paused. “Yes, that’s _much_ worse.”

Still smiling, Nano returned to her meal. Rythian picked up his empty plate and stood, taking it over to the kitchen area before returning, hovering almost awkwardly around the table. She looked up to find him once again watching her.

“Hm?”

“You mentioned something about directions, earlier,” he said.

“Yep,” she said, relief running through her. “I really need to be getting home.”

“I’m sure I can help you out with that.” He gave a nod before pausing again. “Though… why haven’t you messaged anyone? Surely Lalna would be happy to help you find your way back, or Kirin could teleport you?”

She grimaced, glancing at the messenger on her wrist. “I know, I know. I just… I’d rather not talk to either of them right now? I need to… prepare myself, I guess.”

He nodded. “I understand. When you’re ready, I’ll be in the magic tent.” Having said his piece, he disappeared back into said tent.

Nano finished off her meal before placing her cutlery down, at which point Zoey stood to grab it. “I got it, I got it,” she said, beaming at Nano. “You go talk to Rythie. And if you decide you want to stay the night…”

“Thanks, but I really do want to head back. I think- I’m _sure_ I’ve been away too long.” She smiled back at Zoey. “Thanks, though.”

“Okay. Just make sure to tell me before you leave, alright?”

“Will do,” she promised before following Rythian into the tent.

The inside was cluttered, almost overflowing with magical paraphernalia, and she saw Rythian searching through various chests. Nano lingered by the doorway, gaze fixed once again on the dark horizon. She was acutely aware of how much time was passing, how long she'd been away from home. She quickly turned her back to the outside world.

“So.”

Rythian looked up. “Directions?”

“Directions,” she said, nodding.

He nodded back before returning to the chests. “I’m sure I saw it around here somewhere.”

The seconds ticked by and Nano eventually walked further in, glancing over various items and sheets of paper, making sure not to touch any of it. She paused when she came across a sheet of paper with several crossed out words, skimming over them until her gaze fell on the simple ‘I Love You’ written at the bottom. She turned back to Rythian.

“Have you told her?” she asked, gesturing to the paper when he looked up.

His eyes darted to the sheet of paper and away again. “Not in as many words,” he said, tone not angry or upset, but rather resigned. “I’m sure… I _believe_ that she understands, still.”

“Good. You two are… are good.”

“Have you told Lalna?”

She froze, hand shooting to her necklace. “I…”

“There are many ways to say it, you know. I may not have said it _properly_ , but I try to make sure Zoey knows what she means to me.” He straightened, facing away from her, as he continued, “How she grounds me, and how… Well, without her around I’m different. Worse. I need her to distract me from things like revenge, to show me that there’s more to life than destruction, and thanks to her I can finally relax and be happy. She… she saved me.” He let his words hang for a moment before stooping to rummage through the chests again. “And like I said, I make sure she understands that.”

She returned to the doorway as she thought over his words, staring out across the desert. One of those thoughts found its way to her tongue, “I don’t think I’ve been very good at that. I don’t think I’ve been good at a lot of this, honestly.”

“I can understand that.” She heard movement and turned to find him holding the map, eyes on her. “I hope you have the chance to figure it out.”

“…Thanks.”

His mask twitched and the tent seemed to warm slightly as he brought the map over, unfurling it to reveal the entire domain. Though she only recognised a small portion of it, she noticed coloured dots moving all over, which she assumed represented different people. Rythian pointed at a number of dots clustered together.

"That's where we are. And this," he moved his finger to a blue coloured dot, "is where Lalna currently is and, I assume, your home.”

She made a note of the direction and nodded at him. "Okay, thanks."

He rolled it back up and moved back to the chests, saying, "You'd better go say goodbye to Zoey.”

"Right."

Heading back out of the tent, Nano made her way over to where Zoey was talking with Teep. The former noticed her approach and ran to meet her, beaming. “Hey! I’m guessing you’re heading off now?”

“Yeah,” she said, trying on a smile. “I’ve left my bed alone for far too long.”

Zoey’s smile wavered as she searched Nano’s face. “Remember what we said, okay?”

“I will.”

She nodded before bending down to pull Nano into a tight hug. “Good luck.”

Her breath caught. “I… Thanks.”

She squeezed tighter for a brief moment before finally pulling away, eyes darting over Nano’s shoulder. When Nano turned she noticed Rythian approaching, and she looked back to see Zoey’s bubbliest smile had returned.

“And you _have_ to come visit again soon, okay?” she asked, returning her attention to Nano. “You can even bring Lalna along; Rythian promises to behave. Don’t you, Rythian?”

“As long as he does.”

“See? He’ll be on his bestest behaviour!”

“We’ll see,” Nano said, smile wavering slightly.

“Nope! No excuses!”

“Okay, okay. I _promise_ we’ll visit. Happy now?”

“Words cannot describe!” Zoey ducked in to give her one last tight hug before jumping back to stand beside Rythian. "Now shoo, before I hug you again!"

Nano grinned at her and shot up into the air, waving at them one last time before flying off. With the direction clear, she didn’t spare a thought for the storm clouds gathering on the horizon. There was nothing they could do to her now.


	11. Only Honest When It Rains

It felt like an eternity until Nano saw the familiar shape of Pandalabs before her. She entered and went straight to the bedroom, calling out a quick greeting to Lalna, and sighed in relief as she climbed into bed. That breath caught in her throat as she heard Lalna enter the room. Every promise she’d made, every wish to be back home, it all vanished in an instant. Her eyes squeezed shut, stomach twisting up again.

“Hey, Nano, welcome home! You okay?”

“Fine,” she said, tugging the blanket over herself a bit more and hoping he’d just think she was tired. “Talk tomorrow.”

“Oh, right. Well. Goodnight!”

She felt him drape another blanket over her and press a quick kiss to her forehead. When she turned over he’d already left the room, his own bed laying bare. The moment she closed her eyes again the long day pulled her into a deep sleep.

In the morning she woke up with a lingering sense of urgency, left over from a dream she couldn’t remember. She tried to shake it off and looked over to Lalna’s bed. It was still barren. The sound of rain drowned her thoughts out until she stood, throwing off her covers, to make her way down through the levels.

She found Lalna asleep next to the computer he’d been working at the night before. As she knelt down beside him she had to take a moment to catch her breath before poking him.

He stirred and sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Morning, Nano,” he said, words interrupted by a loud yawn.

“Why didn’t you come to bed last night?”

He shrugged. With a sigh she pulled him to his feet, knowing he’d be in no position to talk until he had some food in him. “Come on, time for breakfast.”

Once in the kitchen, Nano got them both some food before sitting and picking at it in silence as Lalna did the same. Her stomach was still rolling from her dream, turning the food tasteless, and she soon pushed it aside. Mind swarming with thoughts that were just barely louder than the thunderous rain outside, she almost didn’t notice Lalna putting his own plate to one side and turning to her.

"So,” he said. “How'd it go yesterday?"

She shrugged, pulling herself together enough to say, “It went fine. I chatted with Lomadia and Nilesy, we had tea, then I left. They were very helpful.”

“Really? That’s all?” When she said nothing he frowned, adding, “You were gone all day.”

“I decided to go and visit some other people.” She turned away, her hair falling like a curtain between them. “Or… everyone. It took up a lot of time.”

“You avoiding me?” Nano was silent, glancing through her hair at him, and saw his face fall. Her gaze flickered away. “I’m being serious, is something wrong? I mean, when you came back from Kirin’s yesterday you were pretty upset.”

“It’s not important. Not really.”

“It’s to do with your soulmate, isn’t it?” She nodded, hand resting on her necklace. “Is there anything I can do?”

“No.”

She heard him shift in his seat as the silence pressed in on them. Nano took a deep breath, knowing that she should actually talk to him, but a thought struck her and the words changed in her mouth, her head snapping round.

“How did you know that Reapers could tell people about their soulmates?”

Lalna shrugged, fiddling with his goggles. “Ridge told me. Offered to show me mine.”

“You know who your soulmate is? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s complicated.”

In a flash she was on her feet, hands slamming down onto the table. Thunder rumbled outside the window as the words poured out of her, “Unless your soulmate isn’t me, there’s nothing complicated about it, so don't bloody-”

“Wait, what?”

Nano’s stomach dropped. His eyes were wide, staring directly into her own for the first time she could remember, and all she could see in them was shock. Confusion. She was the one to break contact, ducking her head and pulling back as she touched her necklace again.

“You’re my soulmate,” she said, voice quiet. There was no response. “Why do you look so confused?”

As the silence stretched on Nano shrunk in on herself more and more. She couldn’t bring herself to face him, afraid of seeing that look again. Afraid that, after all of this, something had gone wrong. That she had messed up. She was eventually pulled back out of her worries by a heavy sigh, gaze lifting just enough to see him running a hand over his face.

"I am not awake enough for this," Lalna muttered. After a moment he lowered his hands and said "Yesterday, you… you found out that I was your soulmate and you ran away.” His voice trembled as he asked, “Are you upset that I'm your partner?"

Her head whipped up. "What? No!"

"It sure seems like it." He gave a breathless chuckle, an almost hysterical look in his eyes. "’Cause you’re always saying that your partner’s supposed to be strong, and great, and amazing, and, and-” He stopped, deflating. “And everything I’m not. And you talk about leaving all the time, you don’t want to be here. With me. Even before you found out-"

She shook her head vehemently, cutting him off, "Lalna, what happened yesterday was all on me. I- I was stupid, and rash, and didn't talk things over with you when I really should have. All of this," Nano gestured around them, "is my fault. And I…" She gripped her necklace tighter as her voice trailed off, but made herself say, "If you don't want me around, I understand. I messed up. I should _not_ have run off, especially after what you told me."

"Of course I want you around."

Her gaze dropped. "I don't think you should."

"Why would you say that?"

"I'm a pretty terrible person. I don't know how you've put up with me this long."

He was silent for a long moment. "You know, you’re remarkably mature for a toddler. Even more mature than me, I’d say. And you might not be _perfect_ , but I definitely wouldn’t say you’re terrible.”

“…Thanks,” she muttered, trying to give him a smile. “I think you’re not-terrible, too.”

A flicker of a smile crossed his face, but it still didn’t feel like enough. The weight of everything that hadn’t yet been said was almost crushing Nano and she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to find the strength to say them. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I… I have something I need to say. It was really shitty of me to abandon you yesterday without warning. It was wrong of me to not tell you when I found out you were my soulmate. It was also wrong of me to try and go to other people for answers instead of talking about our relationship with _you_. And you have everyone else to thank for setting me straight." She screwed her eyes shut, ignoring the shake in her voice. "What I'm trying to say is, I'm _sorry_. I'm so sorry for everything I did, and I promise I’m going to try and get better, and I-"

A pair of arms wrapped around her, cutting her off and surrounding her with warmth. A kiss was pressed into her hair. Bit by bit she came undone, tears pricking at her eyes as she just clung to him. One of his hands started running through her hair and it took all she had to not just collapse as sobs started to tear through her, an outpour as great as the one outside.

But she couldn’t cry forever, and eventually she made herself pull away. Hands came up to cup her cheeks, to brush away hair and lingering tears, and she couldn’t help but smile at him. He smiled back and let his hands drift down to settle on her shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

"Yeah. Thank you." She tried to put as much emotion into those few words as she could, not simply thanking him for the hug. By the way his gaze softened she guessed he understood.

After a moment he stepped away, hands dropping. “I should apologise too,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’ve been a terrible teacher. This whole thing, it should have been my job to fix it. To explain things. And I didn’t.” He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s fine,” she said. “There are plenty of other people who can teach me things. That isn’t… That’s never been what I’ve needed from you.”

“Then what _do_ you need from me, Nano?”

She tugged at her necklace before stopping, forcing herself to reach out and let her hands hang in the air between them. Dredging up strength from some unknown source within her, she asked, “Lalna, do you want to be my soulmate?”

Lalna’s smile was like the sun coming up as he bridged the gap, lacing their fingers together. “As long as you want to be mine.”

Sunflowers burst out of her inventory, filling the room with bright yellow even as the storm raged on outside, and she couldn’t keep herself from grinning, from stepping closer, from drowning out that storm with three simple words, “I love you.”

~~~

Kirin stood on a cloud overlooking PandaLabs. They’d been keeping an eye on Nano since the day before, worried about how the young girl would cope with her situation, and had been pleasantly surprised to see both Nano and her partner handle it so well. Content with the way things had turned out, Kirin gathered up their energy and prepared to leave, but the sudden appearance of Ridge stopped them.

“So, those two crazy kids finally worked it out, huh? Good for them.”

Kirin let the energy disperse back into the storm but said nothing, not wanting to engage in a conversation with the other Reaper. This didn’t seem to deter Ridge, though, as he continued speaking.

“You know, I offered to look into Lalna’s soul ages ago. Wanted to see what kind of person he’d end up with. They’d have to be pretty unusual to keep up with him.”

“Congratulations, you knew they were going to end up together before Nano even existed. Do you want a cookie?” Kirin said, rolling their eyes. They paused as Ridge shook his head, still grinning.

“That’s not what I was getting at. See, when I looked into his soul… there was no soulmate. Nothing, nada, zilch. I’ve never seen that before, or since. Even,” he glanced at Kirin, “in cases where their soulmate wasn’t alive yet.” He paused. “Ain’t that peculiar?”

Kirin looked down at the two mortals who were running about in the rain, planting sunflowers for some strange reason. Their mind drifted to a damp well and, eventually, they found their voice.

“You mean, it’s one-sided? Her partner isn’t someone she’s the partner of?” Their tone was somber. “That can only end in tears.”

They were surprised when Ridge laughed. “I don’t think so. There’s something unique about them. Whatever they have, I think it’ll work out.”

“What do you-” But Ridge was gone.

With a frown, Kirin returned their gaze to the two below. The sound of laughter reached their ears. Soon they, too, disappeared and let the storm recede. After all, it wasn’t their place to meddle.

With now no one around but the other, Nano and Lalna carried on with their lives, to the entire universe seeming perfectly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a wee bit later than I'd planned to get it up, but that's real life for ya.
> 
> Final chapter, done and dusted! Like I said at the start, I planned for far more than just this one story (though this story has always been my favourite) and so if you have any questions about anything feel free to drop a comment either here or at my tumblr - @atravellerstale-meg. I'd love to hear from you!
> 
> I'm also debating creating a companion piece of sorts, to further explain some parts of the story that were intended to be fleshed out elsewhere and add some further thoughts, but that's still up in the air right now. We'll see.
> 
> And apart from that potential companion piece, this is my last story within the Yogscast fandom. It's been... interesting, to say the least. There's a lot I'll miss.
> 
> If you'd like to read some of my other writing I mostly do Achievement Hunter and Original Stories nowadays, which you can find over at my aforementioned tumblr.
> 
> And now, this story that has been in the works for roughly 4 years has finally come to a close! I'm glad I was finally able to write it and share it. I hope you all have enjoyed it too.
> 
> Many thanks to Cole, who not only helped beta read the final draft of this but has been a huge encouragement for many years now. Your help has been invaluable! And this couldn't have happened without you.
> 
> <3


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